@rlpostrp - sounds like you’re going through a lot, and I do remember you posting about this before.

One thing I missed or don’t remember…how long since your surgery? Have you passed the outer limit of erection recovery?

My surgeon told me “2 to 4 years,” so he didn’t string me along like yours did. I just checked a few resources online and see that as long as 5 years isn’t out of the question, so depending when you had your surgery, all is not lost, you just may need to give it more time.

In the meantime, are you practicing penile rehab by using a pump and taking meds? That improves your chances quite a bit.

I had partial nerve-sparing (and the surgeon said I had some pretty funky, twisted up nerves, so it took him a lot longer to get them out) - nerves gone on my left, but still there on my right. That improves my chances, but not as much as if I’d had total nerve-sparing surgery, and I probably lose a point or two because I had a somewhat rough surgery.

I’m a little on the younger side (59 until next month), so that works in my favor, and while I was just starting to see the beginnings of ED before my surgery, I could still get an erection very easily (just some slight trouble maintaining it), so that might help, but I have HBP and flirt with diabetes now and again, both which contribute to ED.

All that means that I put my chances of getting back to unassisted erections after 4 years at around 45%. That’s my rough guess. I assume whatever I do get back will need to be helped along with meds. We’ll see.

I’m just biding my time until then. I’m married, wife is very understanding, and it’s important to remember that there’s more ways to have sex than just “Penis, meet Vagina…Vagina, Penis.” - you don’t really have to put off sex if you don’t want to.

You’ve been around longer than me, so you know better than I do that there’s oral sex, that there’s penetrative sex with sex aids, with your fingers, there are vibrators…you’ve got a whole menu to choose from, and it’s not all just for her, because you don’t need an erection to have an orgasm. It’ll take a little longer, and you need a willing and patient partner, but it can be done.

Meet someone you like and just be honest. Say what you’re going through. Look for companionship first and sex later if need be, but you don’t have to cut yourself off from women (or anyone else) if you don’t want to.

Who knows? Once you’re at a certain point, the little fellow may wake back up. There are plenty of men posting on here who’ve gotten on the other side of ED, I think. It’s not a certain death sentence.

Hang in there, work that pump, pop that pill, and try and remember you’re alive to live and f…ight another day, with a little luck and some persistence.