This is utterly depressing. The common, dominate and underlying theme, is that OUR UROLOGISTS DECEIVE US BY NOT SHARING THE PROBABILITY OF PERMANENT ERECTILE DISFUNCTION FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES. I am so utterly angry how my doctor has strung me along. I've written this before, so sorry for those re-reading it, but I asked: "How long until I can have an erection and enjoy sex again?" He said that it could take up to 6-9 months, but some men are lucky and achieve erections sooner. By my ninth month follow up and "NOT EVEN A TWITCH" DOWN THERE, I asked/said: "I thought you said 6-9 months?" He said that it can take some men a year, occasionally longer. At one year - and still no erections - I asked/said: "WELL?!?!?" He said, you might take maybe up to two years before you regain the ability to have an erection." I said: "That is still speaking in the affirmative that IT WILL HAPPEN, but it just take me longer." He only smiled with an uncomfortable look on his face. I think he already knows that despite his surgical report stating that he "preserved the neurovascular bundles", that few if any men ever regain their ability to get an erection. I think they know that if they tell us of permanent ED, that they would not get to make money off of us for performing the RP surgery. They are professional physicians...they should be man enough to tell us the bad news so that we can make our best, informed decision as to whether we have the RP surgery or not.
This has affected the rest of my life. I WILL NOT attempt to start dating someone new until I know I can get erections. BTW - my divorce was finalized one month before my RP surgery, so at age 70, I am starting my life all over again, but now I am incapable of being the full man that any woman will want. Yes, yes, yes...most women at my age are not so interested in sex any longer, but my intent is to find one that IS interested. I really never thought at all about how much the ability to have sex on command was important and defined me as a man...probably because I always could. I feel like "half a man" now. What woman will want a divorced, 70 year old man who can't have sex, and whose cancer has a great likelihood of returning within the first five years post-RP? My chances are less than 1% of finding someone for a lasting relationship.
I am literally sitting here shaking my head in disbelief and disgust thinking that I would have NEVER thought that I would be "HERE" in this situation. I am going to be one of those lonely old men who sits with other lonely old men out in front of the donut shop talking about our Glory Days. But wait...I am Diabetic, so I can't eat donuts. I guess I'll just sit alone in my house every morning wondering if it is my last morning on earth. Right now my big thrill everyday is to walk out to get the mail, go to buy a few groceries to see other human beings, and watch TV movies in the evening with my dogs on my lap. Then I wake up at 1:00 a.m. realizing that I fell asleep on the couch, so I go to bed, and do it all again the next day. I also go to the gym to see other humans...that is fun now since all of the college girls are home for the Summer!