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Living with Neuropathy - Welcome to the group

Neuropathy | Last Active: 1 day ago | Replies (6021)

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@jesfactsmon

@jakedduck1 @artscaping @sunnyflower @lorirenee1
I know that the behavior you guys describe (about people who have not experienced pain but come off as though they understand) is just plain good ol' fashioned arrogance. They assume they understand what you are going through with your pain. I learned many years ago about my own attitude of arrogance (not about pain at that time but other things) and it took a lot of hammering on me by a wise little person who I happen to share my life with. She was patient but unrelenting and shut me right out until I finally woke up. It really is like waking up into a different reality when the realization hits. The realization that "Oh, I actually DON'T know what I am talking about. Hmmmm..."

What these people need is some familiarity with Mike Tyson's famous quote about boxing, "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth". They need to be made to stop assuming they know anything about the pain another person lives with. I guess it's called learning humility, a lesson more people seem to need today than ever. And Chris (and the rest of you tremendous people), in my book you have earned the right to call your pain anything you want to call it. If anyone has not lived it, they do not have that right. Best, Hank

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Replies to "@jakedduck1 @artscaping @sunnyflower @lorirenee1 I know that the behavior you guys describe (about people who have..."

The issue with Support Groups is that I've discovered is the what I've termed the "Me Problem." People attend support groups for "me." Everyone. They are there for themselves, hence the term "support."
I'm not saying that's a bad thing either. I'm simply saying when you go to a group expecting to get "support" and everyone there is doing the same thing, you're not going to find it. It's like showing up to restaurant as the chef and all the guests are chefs. Everybody has a ton of recipes and ideas and things to cook up but nobody is providing the way to the kitchen, they're just supposed to hash it out amongst themselves and make the same mistakes over and over again.
And when the Master Chef comes in the dining room to offer advice? He's attacked for not being in the trenches.

Hello Hank, @jakedduck1, @lorirenee1, @artscaping, and everyone else,

Well said Hank. I should have clarified that I am very deliberate about not projecting or judging anyone.

It has been my years of observation that have caused me to share what I did.

There must be support groups that are run by medical professionals who suffer with painful afflictions themselves. I would think that would be the ideal moderator of such a group. But then again, this person must have Empathy /compassion as well to make for a successful group.

I haven't had any responses yet to my question asking how you guys feel when a medical professional talks about your pain as discomfort. I'm just trying to get a little chuckle here LOL!

Hope you guys are having some relief today and are acutely aware of the blessings that surround you in the midst of your suffering and pain.

Warmest blessings, Sunny flower. 🙏😊🤗