@katrina123 It sounds like you need some emotional support right now, rather than financial advise. Hello Katrina; 58 years is a lifetime together. What else have you known, except a life together? I haven't been married more than 16 years but I can't imagine how hard it would be to uproot our lives together and tell our daughter we were moving my husband to memory care full time. For us it was my mother that needed memory care, but she's been divorced for over 20 years and was living alone, so it's not really comparable to your situation.

I actually met another woman while visiting my mom, she was from DC and had been married to her husband for at least 40 years. I think they got married when she was 22. Her emotional journey sounds similar to yours. He was an optometrist, handsome, kind, worldly; and they have two adult daughters together. I ended up inviting her to get ice cream with us and our 4 year old daughter. She had never lived with anyone but her husband, and was really afraid of being alone (actually I think terror might be a better descriptor.)

She ended up staying in Chiang Mai for a couple months living near her husband. She visited every day, ate meals there, but then less frequently, and then after a few weeks, she slowly started to find things to do and connected with other travelers. The last I heard from her she'd gone back to DC to sell her house and travel, something she'd never done on her own. What I saw in her was a transition from fear of loneliness to sadness and fear of what's next, then tacit courage and belief in herself and her own resilience.

I believe in people, and their ability to adapt when challenged. This may be the biggest challenge you've ever encountered in your life, but I believe in you. There will be a time after this if you choose to believe in yourself too.