I'm so sorry that you are having to face all of this pain and struggles. Sometimes I just sit quietly and breathe in (4 count), hold my breath (5 count) and breathe out through my mouth (6 count). At least for a few minutes I am thinking about something else. I crochet (have to pay attention to my stitches). I have several kid's coloring books and a 64-count box of crayons. I concentrate on coloring in the lines and choosing colors. So what if it's a kids book. I enjoy it and it takes my mind someplace else out of my body. I also scrapbook. Is a simple sitting still hobby a possibility. It doesn't change the pain but my mind is doing something else for a little while. I will send good wishes and hugs every day.