@pamela78
It's May now and my husband is in memory care. He's forgotten everyone in the family except for me and he doesn't remember my name. He's doing well in memory care, better than I'd expected, and he seems to accept his situation. I wouldn't say he's happy and neither am I about what's happening, but he's doing better--even if he's worse, and I'm doing better too. I'm cutting back on those daily visits, in part so he'll bond with the folks where he is and in part because I need/want to get at least some of my life back. Our situation is going to become more and more common as the baby boomers age and live longer, so we must come to grips with dementia as individuals and as a society. There are times when I feel like Sandra Bullock in that movie where she's adrift in space and I don't want to drift away from life before I have to. The practice of suttee in India solved the "problem" by having widows, those extraneous women, join their deceased husbands on the funeral pyre. I want to do what I can and what's right and kind, and I also want a full life in the years I have left. Courage.