Sadly it sounds all too familiar. I completely understand what you are going through and I am sorry you are going through it. I had my tumor specimens sequenced through Signatera - the ALTERA test. I also had my speciman sequenced through the VALAR LABS Vesta Test. Both tests revealed that I would be a better candidate for chemo type of treatments vs. immunotherapy. The Vesta test revealed that I am likely very likely for recurrence vs. progression. My diagnosis is High Grade Pappillary, stage T1a. I attempted to focus on getting as much info as possible from this forum and BCAN and asking questions. I also sought a second option after the second TURBT.
I tried to focus on one thing at a time, meaning the CT scan, hoping the cancer had not spread outside the bladder - it had not, next I focused on the surgery - just the surgery not the result and after the surgery I focused on the result. That was the only way that I could get through this depressing process. I wish you well and I am sorry you are going through this .