@frouke Thank u so much for your reply. Yes u are absolutely right about how i do wanna enjoy some drinks from time to time..I of course only intended to just have some wine, but of course it went completely out of control wen I went to that store. I remember doing the shots very clearly, which at home I wouldn't have done, but that goes to show how the wine clouded my judgment. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks, but I would be lying if I say it didnt cross my mind on some days. I just try my best to think it through like how i would feel the next day, or what if I do or say something i would regret which i definitely would so I just stay busy or watch netflix n get hooked to a new series lol. But seriously..the whole one day at a time thing is very true. Especially after this last incident...it would be insane to think nothing would go wrong. I was never a daily drinker but the weekly or twice a week drinking I have done always result in regrets. I have been praying to God to help me change my ways with the alcohol n I'm taking this last incident as an answer. It could have been so much worse. Usually we would laugh at blackouts...like omg u said this or u did that but this time was nothing to laugh at. It scared me n also my whole family n that is just heartbreaking. It does help to talk about it...that's how I found this site. Thank u again for listening n replying n especially for keeping mr in your prayers...u are truly appreciated!!!!