Hi, @islanders1952 Sorry for my delay in responding to your important post. I'll try to give some feedback based on what worked for both my wife and me.

I'm sorry you and your husband are having to endure this journey. It's a tough one for sure, and for both of you.

Early in my wife's journey, her oncologist told me a couple truisms that I constantly had to remind myself about. First was that change is a constant with brain illnesses. My wife's cognitive and/or emotional abilities frequently changed, and sometimes it was a daily event. Second, he said that with any 'broken brain', logic is neither present in the patient nor something that caregivers can expect to work most of the time. Third, he told me I must remember that my wife, due to her illness, was now a different person, just as I should be aware that I too was a changed person after that instant when I became a caregiver. Finally, he told me there are no 'right or wrong' feelings along this journey -- that we can only do our best and then try to bury any regrets that will inevitably rear their ugly heads.

I'd also say, from our experiences, I know when cancer metastasizes, it can cause impacts in the body in some strange and unexpected ways and areas.

As to who to talk with, I found using a therapist helped me tremendously. (I found a great MSW who was just about my age.) I also fully confided in my wife's Mayo doctors and used Connect to reach out for wonderful real-world experiences and help from fellow patients and caregivers. Connect truly became a lifeline for me! This said, I also kept an old pillow on our sofa, which I frequently used as a punching bag to take out many of my late-night frustrations.

Please feel free to ask anything, if you'd like.

Strength, Courage, & Peace