Hi
My husband is in a similar boat and I'll tell you what he's been thru since a year ago when he got diagnosed! He went to the dr after feeling like he had an enlarged prostate and just wanted some help with that and also ED (but we had a lot of stress so figured it was that- the ED part) Dr agreed but did a PSA test also, it came back almost 300! Hubby was 55 then and hadn't gone to the Dr since before Covid, we don't trust doctors and are overall very healthy so didn't see the need until then! Oh boy- cancer! It triggered a Pelvic CT scan which showed it outside the prostate, then urologist who said it's stage 4 and that oncology will suggest ADT. My husband would rather DIE than get chemically castrated!! I told him that if I'd have aggressive breast cancer or something like that I'd cut off my breasts etc. I got angry and called him a coward! To me, I'd rather have a tired husband and no sex life than a dead husband and no sex life! We finally met with oncology and got bombarded with information and they wanted to do a PSMA PET scan, on the scan my husband lit up like a Christmas tree! It was everywhere!! Prostate, pelvis, bones, spine, lungs, lymph nodes etc.....He was ready to be DONE..... In the months he waited for the oncology appointment, he had googled everything and taken any supplement he could find, especially I and F and then it wrecked his liver! At this point he had taken maybe 2 injections of Firmagon- it was supposed to be just one, but he didn't like the side effect list of lupron, so the dr let him stay on Firmagon....anyways his liver numbers kept going up- of course he didn't TELL the doctor about I and F! it got to the point of the hospital calling him saying he's in Liver failure, but he felt fine, wasn't yellow, didn't pee brown. But it triggered an ultrasound and a meeting with a liver specialist! THEN he quit all the supplements and when his liver normalized he started Zytiga and prednisone, then over the summer he did 6 rounds of docetaxel and did really well, of course tired and lost his hair, but overall did fine, his hair is more gray now! I think it's sexy....
He works out at the gym every day and eats pretty perfectly!
He had another PSMA scan in the fall after the chemo and there were just a handful of spots left.
Now he's had another scan and those same spots are there but shrunk, but we had hoped for more.
Next week we have a meeting with radiology, he's afraid it'll zap his bladder or bowels, so I think he'll be stubborn again and push back, but maybe it CAN wait another 6 months? I don't know, we'll see what they say
It sucks! but overall he's fine, no pain, looks good etc.... but almost every day he says he's just dragging along, and I see it too, but tell him that all this probably pushed him forward internally 20 years so instead of comparing himself to 55yo men or even younger, compare himself to a 75yo!
We have 4 kids, 2 are young adults.....I know things will work out, that God provides, but it's still scary, how am I going to take care of house and kids by myself after he's gone? Is it 4 years, 14? 24? He may not die of THIS but the meds are hard on the system, so will it be a heart attack or a broken hip and then it's all downhill after that?
Take care and be there for your wife and family!