@gingerw hi, wow thank you for all of this, your words are so kind :’) ! I have a best friend I talk to usually about what it is I’m feeling but I’ve tried to rely more so on myself when it comes to regulating my emotions so I don’t talk very heavily about it with him as much as I used to.

I have been journaling for quite some time now! I think I am capable of accepting whatever diagnosis I get or even if I don’t get one, I believe I’ll be able to cope with it eventually. I’m trying to stay focused on becoming better coping with my episodes rather than fitting a criteria to put a name on what I’m feeling as I feel that would be a healthier route to go at the moment. I understand I’m still going through the motions of aging and my emotions are heightened and changing as well, I try my best to factor that into the equation of my feelings so that I’m not too harsh on myself when I’m down or even happy. I think im looking for clarity and understanding of what it exactly is I feel, but I know the process takes time and I’m willing to take it slow as long I’m better in the end!