Not easy, but once you’ve reached your decision go forward and don’t look back. I had a similar situation when I was undergoing major staging surgery for lymphoma many years ago, and a person who was a long term survivor of my type of lymphoma told me “ I decided not to have that surgery.” It was two days before the operation. I panicked and almost backed out, but ultimately decided to have the surgery. It really alarmed me, and today they no longer perform that surgery for that cancer, so I feel your pain. In the end I am glad I had the surgery. Don’t look back! Good luck.