@tomef
Hello,
First let me say, when you were given your diagnosis - of course you felt a wide range of emotion. This is a strange new land you have found yourself in and the terrain is unknown.

It is surely no sign of weakness in any way to admit what you are feeling but rather it is the beginning of acceptance which is important. I have found that denial only lengthens the period of emotional fortification.

To tell you "you are not alone" may seem rather trite but being here in this open and accepting support group amongst those who truly can empathize and understand is - I feel - invaluable. You can gain knowledge and support along the way and you won't feel isolated since even those in your family will not be able to completely understand although from what you say, you are receiving a great deal of emotional support.

It will be almost one year since my bladder cancer was discovered. I turned 80, felt healthy and strong, took no medication of any type and then WHAM! I felt exactly as you do now - probably even more so. I was so overwhelmed by mixed emotions and the fear was tremendous. I realize now how counterproductive this was but... being only human... what else what I to feel?

Little by little you will regain your emotional composure as I have and please, do not think of yourself as weak for you are the same person you had been prior to your diagnosis - just as strong and you will now be able to face this challenge as well. By being too harsh on ourselves, we don't give enough credit to our ability to refortify but it takes time. Slowly - as you navigate the various treatment modalities you will be encouraged and supported along the way.

You are not alone. Members here truly understand and I am grateful for this support group.

Sending my best wishes.
Bobbie