My view on this is a bit different.

First (as you have just found out), there are different types of “support” groups out there. Many do offer “encouragement,” and will nod “yes” and agree with everything I say. (I have not found those to be useful.)

Others provide “support” in providing the latest diagnostic and therapeutic information, for me to then digest and consider, and (perhaps) to discuss with my medical team to see if it would improve my treatment outcomes (I have found those to be very useful.)

And finally, other “support” groups have their own agenda, either to promote (or demote) a particular treatment or protocol, or simply to be critical of whatever path others have chosen. (I have not found those to be useful.)

(I regularly attend two in-person support groups, and irregularly attend five virtual suppirt groups.)

That said, if you’re already that close to getting a prostatectomy, there shouldn’t have been anything said at that Zoom meeting that you hadn’t already known about and already considered in making your treatment decision.

> you should already know all the facts about RP.

> you should already know all the facts about focal therapies.

> you should already know all the facts about (external and internal) radiation therapies.

At this point, this close to going under the knife, there should have been nothing that expert could have said that would make you conflicted or despondent because you thought you had your “…mind made up and now experts were saying that was not the right thing to do.” So, regardless of what that Focal Therapy expert said, you should have already looked into that option and known (at least most) of what he was saying.

I would simply ask you to consider whether you’re confident that the treatment choice you’ve made is the right one for you? If the answer is “yes,” then absolutely go for it. If the answer is anything other than “yes,” then you probably need to step back and think this through. (When I decided to have proton beam radiation therapy, I had spent at least a couple of years accumulating information and evaluating treatment options. When I finally made my decision, that was it. As much as anyone can be certain, I was confident that was the right choice for me,)

Even though I didn’t have focal therapy (because of the nature of my disease, I was not a candidate), I do sort of agree with his one point —> If you’re not confident with your decision, then contact your doctor and get more info…..

This is an important decision you’re making; possibly the most important decision you’ll ever make. And, you’ll have to live with this decision for the rest of your life. It’s not possible to be 100% certain, but you should be as certain on this decision as you have ever been on any decision you’ve ever made. Again, if you’re good with it, go for it.

Exactly 5 years ago today (April 19, 2021), I started my 28 sessions of proton beam radiation; I had already had my Eligard injection and the SpaceOAR Vue insertion. I was confident it was the right decision for me then; today (5 years later), I’m still convinced (and relieved?) that everything has gone as well as we had expected and planned.

Good luck as you proceed on your journey.