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Devastated by support group meeting: I'm doing everything wrong
Prostate Cancer | Last Active: Apr 27 5:09pm | Replies (154)Comment receiving replies
@fritzo
Dear Fritzo, it IS overwhelming , the whole process is just horrendously stressful - so much information and so much to learn in such a short period of time, so many things to consider; what, when, with whom, where, how, why, and than some 🤕. It happens to me to even now after so much reading and learning - there are days when I feel like I am tabula rasa ! During appointments the pressure was even worse and between my heart pounding and me trying to concentrate on questions the risk of loosing notes became real issue, so early on I decided to start recording conversations. It was a life saver ! It helped me go through consultations at latter time and refresh my memory with every detail.
Also, you have to keep in mind that presentations like one that you saw are very often self promoting, I mean even some popular videos that everybody watch here are basically promotions for that facility or that person . Nothing bad about promoting, but everybody (meaning "consumers") has to be careful and do their own research and listen to ALL sides and than make their decision. Also, decisions are not written in stone - if you wish to have some more time to ponder (week or two ) , that is OK too 😎.
PS: I forgot - did you ask your surgeon how many RPs he performed and what is his record with ED and incontinence rate ? If he did thousands and with great results, you are really in good hands.
Replies to "@fritzo Dear Fritzo, it IS overwhelming , the whole process is just horrendously stressful - so..."
@surftohealth88 Oh yeah, this sounds like me too. I actually had to start a blood pressure med because of stress. Hope to go off of it later. Thanks for the good advice.
For notes; I totally relied on my wife because I realized if I focused on note taking, I would stop the thinking process on questions. I even had my daughter and son-in-law listen in via phone for two of the early consults (they are both doctors at Stanford-one internal med and the other family practice). To continue the dad brag, my son, who is a PMNR doc, will be with my wife while I'm in surgery to keep her in a good place.
Yeah, my surgeon at Northwestern didn't actually have a number for the number of surgeries, but guessed it was way over 1,500...but I suspect it's a much bigger number because he has been there something like 15 years and I believe is their number one surgeon for surgeries performed. He leads their fellowship program.
The procedure he does is a fascia sparing approach that spares the bladder neck and preserves more of the fascia area to help with continence. There's a video of the actual surgery, but I can't bring myself to watch that.
I'm in a much better place now. I be lying if I said this "promotional" presentation on Focal was a good test for me. But, now know that I don't qualify for Focal. I'm locked in...
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@surftohealth88 Good note about "promoting". And even without that crass motive, we can never forget that our doctors are human, subject as professionals to the need to know "facts" and hold onto them, sometimes before they deserve the name or in the face of (at least initial) counter evidence. It's just human, especially among people who are esteemed for a particular body of knowledge. One "tell" that this is happening may be when we observe enthusiasm - an emotion - come into a doctor's recommendation. I appreciate professionals who give me objectivity and leave the emotion to me and my loved ones. We have plenty as it is.