@edsutton, interesting comments. I learned a very long time ago minding my own business was a full time job. The situation I'm in currently with my mother, to be frank is it's my duty. It wasn't always but there's wear and tear over time. My wife and I haven't travelled since 2015. Maybe it would be easier if... let me put it this way, if mom were a little more cooperative and didn't occasionally say hurtful things. It's amazing how she can stir things up after a good day for instance. I'll give one recent example. I was taking her to different appointments last year. Many dental, the routine toenail foot doc, an ER visit, a funeral and groceries and more. We've had her credit card for over five years. We always give her the receipts when we use it. Out of the blue she asked why her car was used at a gas station. I told her that I gave her the receipt and told her we'd been driving a lot for you and you should chip in. She said "oh OK". Nothing was said further. A couple months later she brought it up again and I told her the same thing.
I explained to her I was concerned about her memory and asked her if she had a problem paying towards her rides? So you see I know her. She expects certain things from me and my wife. She used to "chip in for gas" when I used to cut her grass. This isn't about money or head games this is about entitlement that she had when my farther was alive and the house her and sister grew up in the 30's and 40's. I know because I grew up in that same house in the 50's and 60's. I've heard her talk about the youngest daughter not marrying because she had to take care of her mother. Not everyone has the same history of what's expected of them.