@jerryc131 luv those memories you captured in your photos. I've been in a nightmare it seems for 18 months. The nightmare can switch to a butterfly & unicorns dream at times. Then back to a nightmare. Actually it's just a fuzzy day by day reality of doctors appointments, Scans, blood labs, scares ..laughs..family times ... silly jokes ..tears...and yes even arguments . Arguments because we're scared...scared together. Scared alone. Confusion about medical terms, what's next, calendar full of scribbled must do dates. Family stressed by how things are going...what each other is feeling. Tears alone...tears together. Looking at a surgical update screen in a family surgical waiting room scanning it for your loved ones #. Seeing all of the #s & looking at the faces of others in what they are going through. Flash backs of the years past. Making positive thoughts of what's the future. Going to chapels in whatever hospital your at at the time. Saying we've got this & then saying I can't do this. In all for me...it's day by day. As I sit in a recliner at the hospital. Day # 4 post opp. Room is dark for it's how he likes it. No TV for it bothers him. Watching him with these unforgiving hiccups. DOCTORS with good news...doctors voicing things are troublesome due to this & that. Feeling we will get through this one day. Then feeling how can we get through this. I don't mean to frighten you nor burden you with so much to think about. Yet it's reality. So many here going through something similar, or different. Yet still ( going through it) I have notes scribbled everywhere in my home. Some I pick up & read some realizing they are from a year ago...or 4 months ago. I keep them all. So take notes ..write notes to each other. Do research...ask questions. Cry , laugh, feel sad , feel joy, just FEEL, cause sometimes there is no feeling. Just numbness. Prey & have hope. Make a plan & stick with it. Ok I'm rambling. Most of all...take care! Keep strong.

@jerryc131 My husband had lost a ton of weight and not much of any appetite. We went through 6 months of testing and " Let's wait and see" only to be finally told by the Oncologist that she did not think this was Cancer. We switched hospitals ( Both of these are well known
Hospitals in Phila. ) and went to see a Doctor that specializes in Pancreatic Surgery. He did a Distal Pancreatectomy on my Husband. Tumor was in both body and tail of the Pancreas and in 14 of the 20 Lymph Nodes they removed. There were also masses in his lungs but they could not biopsy for 6 Months because he was too weak from the Surgery. Biopsy finally was done and confirmed for Pancreatic Cancer in the Lungs. He was already Stage 4 .

@jerryc131
I kept our life at home as normal and calm as possible. I was seeing a counselor already, as the cancer diagnosis was sudden and without symptoms (found it on a CT for an unrelated issue), and I needed help with coping to better support him. We were blindsided by the initial diagnosis. While he was in the hospital, I was there all of the first day. I took walks periodically, found the hospital coffee shop and cafeteria for my meals and breaks. I took my Kindle to read when my husband was napping, etc. We were not at home when he had the surgery, so I had a place to stay nearby so I could get good sleep and have a private place to unwind after each day at the hospital.