My wife had the lower lobe of her right lung removed when cancer was found purely by accident by a CT for unrelated problem. She had targeted radiation and some chemotherapy. She is currently on year six cancer free. My suggestion is to get some counseling from your cancer organization. Don’t look at your CTs like the only thing they find is bad. They have been delivering good news to us for 6 years. Stress is bad for us and a positive outlook promotes healing. I hope you get the support and counseling that helps heal your body and mind.