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Scanxiety: how can I manage my out of control emotions?

Posted by vlarenne @vlarenne, Mar 14 12:41am

I had Stage IIIA HER2+ cancer 17 years ago and had a complete response to chemo and a mastectomy. For the first time, this year I had two elevated ca27.29 tests so doc has ordered a PET/ct scan. When I was in active treatment all that time ago, I was like Superwoman. Nothing scared me. Now? I'm an absolute mess. I know the scan is important, but the thought of waiting for the results and potentially getting bad news has sent me into a tailspin of fear. Then I irrationally think that because I'm afraid it must be because my subconscious knows I have something to be afraid about. Aaaaack! Does anyone have suggestions on how I can manage my out of control emotions? Where is that strong woman from 17 years ago? I want her back.

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babs28 | @babs28 | Mar 19 9:56am

I got some scanxiety for a couple of weeks BEFORE I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A follow up MRI of my right breast without cancer was recommended in 6 months. I hate MRIs so I will get a sedative. I'm fresh out of lumpectomy and revision lumpectomy to my left breast. I will find out what is recommended for follow up when I meet with the surgeon on 03/23. I guess my new normal is being afraid of getting cancer again. All I can do is try to live a healthy life and use relaxation techniques prior to scans. Lots of deep breathing sessions in my future! Good luck to everyone!

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Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Mar 27 3:13pm
In reply to @vlarenne "Dear @lifetraveler, Thank you so much for this beautiful and encouraging note. It made me cry..." + (show)
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Dear @lifetraveler,
Thank you so much for this beautiful and encouraging note. It made me cry (in a good way) and I appreciate you reaching out with such kindness. It helps so much knowing we are all in this cancer business together and your words were a great comfort to me.

Love,
Valerie

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@vlarenne, just checking in to see how you are doing. Have you had the scan? What stage of the waiting game are you in? Sending strength.

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vlarenne | @vlarenne | Mar 27 6:11pm
In reply to @colleenyoung "@vlarenne, just checking in to see how you are doing. Have you had the scan? What..." + (show)
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@vlarenne, just checking in to see how you are doing. Have you had the scan? What stage of the waiting game are you in? Sending strength.

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@colleenyoung
Thank you for checking in on me! It's been a bit of a rollercoaster. I had a PET/ct scan that showed a hot spot in one lymph node. My doctor called me in for an ASAP meeting to review the scan and I was a nervous wreak until she explained that it was "teeny tiny" and that it wouldn't interfere with going on a big trip we have planned for next week. Whew. She connected me with a wonderful surgeon for next steps. I had an ultrasound that showed a "normal" lymph node, but they couldn't biopsy it because it was too close to adjacent blood vessels to be accessed safely. Radiologist said I didn't have to come back for two months to have a follow-up ultrasound so I thought it was pretty much all over for the time being. Then I get a message from the surgeon saying she does not want to wait that long and that a biopsy needs to happen. Cue the terror. I meet with her on Monday to learn what she suggests for the biopsy since it sounds like it will be complicated, but I'm feeling confident that we will still be able to travel and that even if this is cancer, the fix is relatively simple. My oncologist said no chemo or radiation, just surgical removal and then we are done. Right now I am praying for a benign result on the biopsy. One step at a time! The emotional whiplash of bad news...good news...maybe not good news is exhausting. It is such a comfort knowing I am not alone in this. Thank you for reaching out. It means A LOT!!

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Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | 2 days ago
In reply to @vlarenne "@colleenyoung Thank you for checking in on me! It's been a bit of a rollercoaster. I..." + (show)
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@colleenyoung
Thank you for checking in on me! It's been a bit of a rollercoaster. I had a PET/ct scan that showed a hot spot in one lymph node. My doctor called me in for an ASAP meeting to review the scan and I was a nervous wreak until she explained that it was "teeny tiny" and that it wouldn't interfere with going on a big trip we have planned for next week. Whew. She connected me with a wonderful surgeon for next steps. I had an ultrasound that showed a "normal" lymph node, but they couldn't biopsy it because it was too close to adjacent blood vessels to be accessed safely. Radiologist said I didn't have to come back for two months to have a follow-up ultrasound so I thought it was pretty much all over for the time being. Then I get a message from the surgeon saying she does not want to wait that long and that a biopsy needs to happen. Cue the terror. I meet with her on Monday to learn what she suggests for the biopsy since it sounds like it will be complicated, but I'm feeling confident that we will still be able to travel and that even if this is cancer, the fix is relatively simple. My oncologist said no chemo or radiation, just surgical removal and then we are done. Right now I am praying for a benign result on the biopsy. One step at a time! The emotional whiplash of bad news...good news...maybe not good news is exhausting. It is such a comfort knowing I am not alone in this. Thank you for reaching out. It means A LOT!!

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@vlarenne, how did the meeting with the surgeon go? Did you have the biopsy?

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jardinera25 | @jardinera25 | 1 day ago
In reply to @vlarenne "@colleenyoung Thank you for checking in on me! It's been a bit of a rollercoaster. I..." + (show)
Profile picture for vlarenne @vlarenne

@colleenyoung
Thank you for checking in on me! It's been a bit of a rollercoaster. I had a PET/ct scan that showed a hot spot in one lymph node. My doctor called me in for an ASAP meeting to review the scan and I was a nervous wreak until she explained that it was "teeny tiny" and that it wouldn't interfere with going on a big trip we have planned for next week. Whew. She connected me with a wonderful surgeon for next steps. I had an ultrasound that showed a "normal" lymph node, but they couldn't biopsy it because it was too close to adjacent blood vessels to be accessed safely. Radiologist said I didn't have to come back for two months to have a follow-up ultrasound so I thought it was pretty much all over for the time being. Then I get a message from the surgeon saying she does not want to wait that long and that a biopsy needs to happen. Cue the terror. I meet with her on Monday to learn what she suggests for the biopsy since it sounds like it will be complicated, but I'm feeling confident that we will still be able to travel and that even if this is cancer, the fix is relatively simple. My oncologist said no chemo or radiation, just surgical removal and then we are done. Right now I am praying for a benign result on the biopsy. One step at a time! The emotional whiplash of bad news...good news...maybe not good news is exhausting. It is such a comfort knowing I am not alone in this. Thank you for reaching out. It means A LOT!!

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@vlarenne That sounds like good news! I had a 1cm tumor detected through mammogram & then needle biopsy; then had a lumpectomy to get the bit that remained with margins. No radiation nor chemo, so it was not so bad to deal with. It's great when they are caught so small!

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vlarenne | @vlarenne | 13 hours ago
In reply to @colleenyoung "@vlarenne, how did the meeting with the surgeon go? Did you have the biopsy?" + (show)
Profile picture for Colleen Young, Connect Director @colleenyoung

@vlarenne, how did the meeting with the surgeon go? Did you have the biopsy?

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@colleenyoung thank you for checking in! It went well. I have my ultrasound to place the clip on 4/28 and the surgery to remove (then biopsy) the node on 5/6. I’m feeling much better and less panic. Even if it’s malignant, that should be the end of this scare. 🙂

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