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How do I tell my family I want to quit treatment just so I can die?
Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: 14 hours ago | Replies (42)Comment receiving replies
I have had MDD since I was 16, although at that time no body really knew much about it. I will be 80 in July. Living with this condition for 64 years has been challenging. I have attempted suicide once, and considered it many times. Two and a half years ago, I took a fall and landed in the hospital for almost a week, and in rehab for two weeks. I have not recovered fully. I have a headache every day, and I have lost a lot, mentally, especially in comprehension. I no longer go out, to church, or anywhere, really, and physically - I seem to have lost my balance and strength all at once. My life has been reduced to a pinprick of light. On some days the pinprick turns into a ray. On other days I sleep much of the day. I have no desire to continue living, but I am unwilling to try suicide again for fear of failing. I have no family or friends to tell how I feel. I have thought of starving myself, but fear I would be force-fed. I don’t know what to do. Blessings.
Replies to "I have had MDD since I was 16, although at that time no body really knew..."
@dollyjaneprenzel Oh my goodness. I am amazed at how long you have fought your personal battles. What makes a day into a "ray" for you? I deal with chronic pain from an operation 8 months ago. I also fell afterwards and injured my hips. I know a bit of what pain can do to your overall welbeing. Are you able to get any outside resources of help? Maybe a home Healthcare worker once a week, or a P.T. person to come into your home? You mentioned church. Does anyone there know what you are going through? I know it is difficult to reach out to others when you are feeling down. Blessings to you. You will find people in here you can share with any time. 💕
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@dollyjaneprenzel - having major depressive disorder for decades would be very hard. Really rough when you have times when you just don't want to keep on with life.
I do know from writing for Mayo Clinic's trauma center that falls can really be a challenging tipping point for older adults - much more difficult to recover from, and can lead to a bit of a slide in the downhill health direction.
I like your description of the pinprick of light turning into a ray of light. That actually gives a real picture of hope dawning.
I believe you mentioned that you have a dog named Daphne? I recall she was getting up there in age. Is she still living? If so, does she provide any hope and desire to stay around for you?