@masonfoxy We could message privately, if you prefer.

I am now two years out of the surgery. In my case, it involved also a vaginal repair, since I had a rectovaginal fistule.

Questions for you: Where do you live? Did your doctor mention LARS (Low Anterior Resection Syndrome) to you? Are you in any in-person or online support group for that?

Before the surgery, I had a couple of months of therapy, I did some guided meditation with an app when I felt anxious, and I took a five-day trip with my husband a couple of weeks before. I also read a lot online about the surgery (LAR) and about LARS. I even made an appointment with my surgeon to ask him the 15 or 20 questions I had, and I spoke with one of the surgeon's patient who had undergone the same surgery. I prepared all I needed for the hospital stay and for the early post-op time at home.

The first step of the surgery took 5 hours. The first delay was due to a lot of gas from the prep which they needed to get rid of. The second thing that made the surgery longer than plan was that they discovered they couldn't use my omentum to put a barrier between my vagina and rectum as planned because I'm too thin. So they had to use a biological mesh. I was in quite some pain just after the surgery, but it got under control, until I had some Ensure in the following days, which provoked gases and bowel paralysis with immense pain. For three days I was under parenteral nutrition, then got the second step of the surgery, which lasted for about an hour. I still stayed for several days at the hospital because it was a long holiday week-end and the surgeon didn't want to release me without being absolutely sure I would not come back to the ER.

The first week was hard and culminate in a night of 25 trips to the bathroom with a burning butt. I called my surgeon in the middle of the night because I really was in too much pain. Since he was leaving on holiday, I saw his trusted colleague the next day; he had participated in the surgery. He changed my meds and removed the drain I still had hanging on my left side.

I consulted with a clinical nutritionist who helped me go through the first weeks of starting back on solid foods, a bit like a baby.

Three months after the surgery, I was able to go on a work trip requiring a one-hour flight for three days, and 4 months after the surgery, I visited my brother (2 1.5-hour flights to his place) for 10 days, with my brother, to rest. 14 months after the surgery, I went on a 10-day silent meditation retreat, with a vegetarian diet. I have taken flights to Europe to visit my parents. I live a rather normal life, with some adjustments and different habits and toilet processes.

Do you have specific questions, concerns, or doubts? I can feel your despair and anxiety. Ask anything, and I'll answer you to the best of my experience and knowledge with regard to living with LAR.

Sending you a big hug.