@deidre77 oh my was this a great read . I feel exactly the same way- disbelief and of course condemning myself for having smoked at such a young age for so very long - 18 years. Once I quit 34 years ago, I became invested in healthful choices and dedicated to exercise. Yep and now this diagnosed officially last December. Here I am 2 TURBT’s later and waiting for my next scope 4/29. Oh and I have had my fill of Toxic Positivity “ , yeah there is a term for “look at the bright side you don’t have pancreatic cancer”. I know people mean well, but it’s so hurtful to hear those comments. Here’s to everyone on the forum sharing experiences and helping each other. Bless y’all , I am so thankful!