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To move near family or stay put

Aging Well | Last Active: 20 minutes ago | Replies (152)

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Profile picture for pachab00 @pachab00

I'm 73 and in very good health, considering that I need to rest more than I used to. I've been considering this question for the past several years. Both of my kids (daughters) are happily married with young kids. First, I looked at retirement communities close to one of my kids. who lives about 450 miles from me. The other cringed at the thought of me being closer-- I live about 300 miles from her now. I saw 2 communities that seemed ok, I could move there if I chose to, but I decided not to. My current home is nicer than their new homes and my mother was still living and spending six months of the year with me. I'd rehabbed the first floor bathroom, which is next to an office/bedroom, to ADA specs for her and I thought it would be better for her to have things the same. When she died last year (at 100) I started considering a CCRC friends were moving to. I could afford it and there were a lot of "pro's". But after looking at several units and spending some time there, I felt like I do after a long vacation- I just wanted to go home to my home. I've decided I'm not "ready" to downsize from my 4br, 2400sf home to a 2 or 1 bedroom unit. I love the artwork I've collected from friends or purchased, and the inherited furnishings I wouldn't have room for. Besides, my home is accessible with extra bedroom(s) if I need a live-in attendant. So, no, I'm not moving. My friends are here, my neighborhood is friendly (I've been here 25 years), and I can hire a driver if/when the day comes when I shouldn't be driving. So much to consider, and its such an individual decision. I know I can change my mind if I want to or need to. My kids are busy with their families. I love my grandkids so much that I do my best to be with them when they visit. I've just had a new kind of adventure with each of the families. I met one in Williamsburg and the other at Great Wolf lodge before several more days with each at my home. When they left, I slept for 3 hours, and was glad the housekeepers came the next day. I see them about 3x/year. That's about as often as my kids saw their grandparents and they were emotionally close, so I know it's possible.

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Replies to "I'm 73 and in very good health, considering that I need to rest more than I..."

@pachab00 I love this!!! It's been almost 2 years since my husband died. I have thought and my son has mentioned leaving my home and moving in with his family or buying a smaller place. All of the things you said are exactly my thinking. I love my home. Love my neighbors and don't want to depend on someone else to plan my activities. Not looking to establish myself in a new area and find friends.
Thank you for your thoughtful post.

@pachab00 my thinking exactly. But I’m 82. House is still too big for one tho. No I don’t want a roommate either.
I need to live where I feel safe, where things are familiar, and close enough to get to stores if I want to. At least for now I’m content. I love being content!