@kodabear, I understand, it's tough and if our experience is anything to go by it just seems to remorselessly go on and on. This affects us all and I hope you have someone to properly talk things through with. Here in the UK there are counsellers who help - I have used this service and I am sure I am better for it. My daughter also found it re-assuring that someone was helping me because it at times I was reaching my limit. ATB David.