@bewildered
Reply from Connie 31 March 2026
I was lucky enough to have a wonderful, skilled therapist for myself for about 15 years, when my son was about 25 - 40. She had a lot of experience helping family members of those with serious cases of bipolar disorder. She helped me to get through many rough spots. Unfortunately, she retired a few years ago. Now, I can still see her at her home office, but she is not a provider for Medicare, so, if I see her, I have to pay her full fee out of pocket. I cannot do that on a regular basis, but if I need her wise counsel and support and my son is going through a difficult period, I will go to see her once in a while. I currently see a psychiatric nurse practitioner. She is supposed to provide therapy, and she can prescribe my meds. I have recurring clinical depression, which began in 1966. The nurse practitioner is nearly worthless as a therapist, but at least I can go see her and vent, and she is located close to where I live.

For many years, during the early years of my son's illness and his struggles, I felt that I was grieving for him. I was heartbroken for him, because of all the restrictions his illness placed on his life, and because of all the things he would miss out on in life. His illness has greatly disrupted his life. His academic performance immediately declined considerably, after he was diagnosed (at age 14) and had to begin taking high doses of many different meds. My wonderful therapist, Judy, gradually taught me to focus on the things he could still do, and not to focus on all that would be lost to him, due to his illness.

I am blessed in that my son has always been compliant with his treatment, and has always kept his appointments with his psychiatrist, and with his therapist. He takes his medication as prescribed, because he wants to be as well and as high functioning as he can, in spite of his serious illness. He also always signs the necessary releases, so that I can talk to his psychiatrist and to his therapist, when warranted.

I am fortunate to have the financial resources to pay for an individual private health insurance policy for him, so that he has access to good psychiatrists and therapists. Unfortunately, where I live, most of the good psychiatrists do not accept Medicaid (or Medical, as it is called here in CA). I am also able to pay his co-payments for hospitalization, when he has to be hospitalized. I am able to combine the cost of his health insurance and all his medical expenses with my own medical expenses, to get a medical deduction on my income tax. I am well aware that these are privileges that the family members of many patients with serious mental illnesses cannot afford.

From the time my son was diagnosed until he was 20, I was able to work part time, so that I was more available for his care and support than I would have been if I had had to work full time. I was also able to pay for my own health insurance during this time, because employees who work part time usually do not get employer-provided health insurance. I am a single mom, and it would have been even more difficult to get my son through high school if I had had to work full time during those years. He is also my only child, so I did not have obligations to any other children I was raising.

I had a wonderful cousin who lived far away, but she had always been an important person in my life. She was always available for me to talk to, and she was interested in my son, and his challenges, and his progress. She passed away in Jan. of 2024, at the age of 96. I miss her terribly, but her support and caring helped me to get through many difficult times. My son was also very fond of her, and they talked on the phone frequently. We still have close relationships with her 3 adult children. She had 9 great grandchildren when she passed away. My son is now making plans to go visit with many of her family members this summer. Her son and my son have developed a good relationship, and her son tries to
(reply is to be continued) from Connie