It is inspiring to experience your positivity and joie de vivre. I'm so glad you have your wonderful husband and your two lovely children.

I remember a dear Uncle and his wife, Mum's sister, vowing in 1997 " to make every day bigger," by living each with optimum appreciation and enjoyment to make every day count.

My Uncle Hedley had been diagnosed with a different cancer(colon) at 47 yrs old. Unfortunately his GP thought his symptoms were something relatively innocuous not warranting an MRI so Hedley lost 8 months of treatment time by the date he was finally scanned. It had metastasised to his lung/s so treatment was palliative only.

Nonetheless they were true to their word. They travelled, including treating themselves to the QE2. Hedley was a travel writer. He loved it, continued to do it for a good proportion of the time he had.

New Years' Eve 1998 remains the best I've ever known ( I'm 58)because we all- family,friends,Aunty Maureen and Hedley - we flew in the face of the illness, revelled, danced, sang without inhibition and just loved every moment in a way that paradoxical though it may be, made it a much more vital, brilliant night than I know would have been the case had we all been well.

I'm so glad any initial prognosis you may have gleaned has been exceeded.
Dad was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer at 86 in November 2023.

I'll never know if it broke his spirit or not, but within a week of diagnosis his spirit seemed to "rally." I knew from how he held his head up walking into the lounge after fish and chips from his favourite take- away, taking his cup of tea with him to watch Sheffield United play on TV just six days after diagnosis.
(He'd supported them all his life. We're from Sheffield.)
The following day we went to see a palliative consultant. She was very friendly. But she made it clear in front of Dad that she didn't even think he'd even be able to return to the hospital department in three weeks' time. Insisted on going through Respect plans etc.Hed done this at the diagnosis.
Dad had walked to the car for me to take us there. He'd walked in without help. As the consultant kindly but unsubtly kept on in the same vein I saw his shoulders bow, he was hunched over looking down by the last part. Needed help dressing after a blood test and I could hardly get him into the car to go home. He could hardly get out and walk once we got home.

If a patient does not want things to be " spelt out" then a medic shouldn't ignore their wishes.

I've since been told that the many times the "Respect"Agreement was repeated, were not necessary. That it was perhaps a back- covering exercise to protect different medics' positions and is not legally necessary.
I'd thought the hypocratic oath went something like:" First do no harm"?
He was harmed psychologically and emotionally, several times, despite clear requests to stop.
Dad was failed.

He gave up the day he met the palliative consultant.

It caused him profound emotional pain each and every time 4-5 different bodies ( the GP called him in while I was at work. Dad tried to text me as was afraid. He didn't drive again. He was alone that time. The GP did not even ask if he wanted someone there or confirm what the sudden appointment was for(just days after the palliative consultant's kind but unsubtle onslaught.)

And it happened at least thrice more. Even though I asked the palliative nurse to leave it if Dad nodded to confirm no decisions had changed. She said she would, then didn't.

Dad didn't have dementia. He was intelligent. There was no need.

That wasn't acting in his best mental and physical interests.

It seemed selfish and self- interested.

I've been advised since that estimating or predicting time- frames is not an exact science.

Wish there had been the humility and compassion to recognise this and give Dad some hope.

I hope you continue to live life to its fullest for a long time yet.

Dad lived just 35 days after the palliative consultant's appointment.

I apologise to moderators for criticism.

I hope you or your husband will be categorically firm with anyone acting as those meant to be helping Dad did.

Enjoy this and every BTS concert and everything you do.

Thank you for telling us about you and your wonderful family.