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The in-between life and death cancer

Cancer: Managing Symptoms | Last Active: 1 day ago | Replies (54)

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@shellyk89
You have so honestly and beautifully described the In-Between. I am going to print it out and include it in my journal.
That’s the place where I dump the thoughts that others don’t want to hear but that live in my head, especially at night. You are obviously a wonderful mother and all of us who are moms understand your need to be the best you can be and to create positive memories. I hope that sharing your thoughts here was helpful and I second the idea of finding support via a cancer support organization social worker or a therapist. I never thought that would be me, but I was a desperate mess in my head while wearing a mask for everyone else. It helped me to unload and cry freely to someone who didn’t judge me or tell me to be positive. All of us here understand. Sending hugs.

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Replies to "@shellyk89 You have so honestly and beautifully described the In-Between. I am going to print it..."

@ffr Thank you—reading this made me tear up in the best way. I’m amazed you’re putting the “In-Between” into your journal; I keep one too for all the middle-of-the-night thoughts that don’t have anywhere else to go. It helps to know we’re not the only ones talking to the ceiling at 2 a.m.

Your words about being a mom hit home. I’m just trying to stack up as many good, ordinary memories as I can for my kids while I’m here. And thank you for the nudge about support. I’ve been the one wearing the brave mask for everyone, too, and you’re right, it’s exhausting. I finally asked my doctor for a referral to a therapist because I’ve only been using my notebooks to rely on. Honestly, I’ve only been brave enough to take the mask off in my writing, and I think it’s time I had a space where I can say things out loud.

I’m grateful for you and for this circle where people really do get it, without the stay positive lecture. They do help sometimes tho. Sending hugs right back, and thank you for making me feel seen.