It is so easy to blame ourselves when bad things happen. The fact is on any given day we can only do the best we can do. So many things contribute to how our lives are going. A lot of those things are beyond our control. I have to admit I was relieved when I read that my particular type of cancer, bring rare, they don't know what causes it. Having said that I need to live a healthier life style from here on out to reduce some risk factors for another cancer. That's something that I've struggled with for years. Good luck to everyone on their journey.