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Regret: A decision made and I've lost purpose & motivation

Posted by carol222 @carol222, Feb 11 9:13pm

I am 80 years old and in decent health. I still work part-time 3 days a week. 40 years ago I made a horrible decision that pretty much ruined my life. Timesaver: Nothing to do with drugs or alcohol. To most people from the outside, I appear to be living a fairly normal life. I am functioning, take walks, have dinner with friends, etc. As a result of my actions 40 years ago, however, I have lost my purpose and virtually all of my motivation and self-discipline. I miss my passion for art but have been unable to get it back. Can anyone relate to this?

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cmdw2600 | @cmdw2600 | Mar 19 7:05am
In reply to @capnjack "@5148branelly No, he died in 2016. And as i said, as I wade through his book,..." + (show)
Profile picture for capnjack @capnjack

@5148branelly No, he died in 2016. And as i said, as I wade through his book, the less credible it seems... like he should be wearing that t-shirt that says "I make stuff up". But, in one's twilight years, it's comforting reading. I think that the lyrics of "Highwayman" are more credible - "Or I may become a single drop of rain, but I will remain..."

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@capnjack I could (and do) watch that video over and over again. Different recordings-all good! What a group of soulful, talented men.

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sstopalian | @sstopalian | Mar 20 7:59am

Maybe. Please get some help and work this through to be able to live the best life possible. Find a therapist who can help you. Life is too short to be immersed in ancient history.

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ajnos03 | @ajnos | Mar 21 11:58am

Hello, I am also 81 years old. Still pretty active although not working. Just working in my home course and my yard. I guess I'm sorry to hear that you are being troubled because of something that happened 40 years ago. None of us are perfect we have all made mistakes in prior years. You have to learn to forgive yourself for whatever it is. Consider that you have made it through the last 40 years and you're still doing well. Try to dwell on positive things. Realize none of us are perfect. I sure hope you can work through this I think you can you must be pretty strong you're still working. Take care

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bewildered | @bewildered | Mar 21 3:29pm
In reply to @dederickve "To carol222. I believe that if we live long enough we all will have regrets. Some..." + (show)
Profile picture for dederickve @dederickve

To carol222. I believe that if we live long enough we all will have regrets. Some big, bad ones, which we can’t change, now. Also, small aggravating regrets, and we wonder how we could have been so foolish. It seems that you are doing very well, and that you are blessed to be able to do all the things you are doing. I’m not judging your feelings. Some feelings we just can’t change, no matter how much we’d like to. But Philippians 3:13 gives a good statement, for us about that.

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@dederickve can you quote for us please?

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nycmusic | @nycmusic | Mar 22 9:09am
In reply to @ajnos "Hello, I am also 81 years old. Still pretty active although not working. Just working in..." + (show)
Profile picture for ajnos03 @ajnos

Hello, I am also 81 years old. Still pretty active although not working. Just working in my home course and my yard. I guess I'm sorry to hear that you are being troubled because of something that happened 40 years ago. None of us are perfect we have all made mistakes in prior years. You have to learn to forgive yourself for whatever it is. Consider that you have made it through the last 40 years and you're still doing well. Try to dwell on positive things. Realize none of us are perfect. I sure hope you can work through this I think you can you must be pretty strong you're still working. Take care

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@ajnos yes, I agree, you are pretty strong if still working, but the emotional component is something more…as humans, we all fall short and make mistakes that make us wish we could turn the clock back….as a musician, I know mistakes will happen in performance, but the music must go on…I prefer to see mistakes as opportunities for learning and that really helps—self-forgiveness is really important.

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calofmichigan | @calofmichigan | Mar 22 9:38am
In reply to @nycmusic "@ajnos yes, I agree, you are pretty strong if still working, but the emotional component is..." + (show)
Profile picture for nycmusic @nycmusic

@ajnos yes, I agree, you are pretty strong if still working, but the emotional component is something more…as humans, we all fall short and make mistakes that make us wish we could turn the clock back….as a musician, I know mistakes will happen in performance, but the music must go on…I prefer to see mistakes as opportunities for learning and that really helps—self-forgiveness is really important.

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I agree, @nycmusic. I was a musician in my younger years. That special sensitivity has me recall mistakes I’ve made, people I’ve slighted. But I’ve learned that these challenges will face me again in the future, giving me the opportunity to learn, correct them, and move forward with a clearer conscience.

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nycmusic | @nycmusic | Mar 22 4:24pm
In reply to @calofmichigan "I agree, @nycmusic. I was a musician in my younger years. That special sensitivity has me..." + (show)
Profile picture for calofmichigan @calofmichigan

I agree, @nycmusic. I was a musician in my younger years. That special sensitivity has me recall mistakes I’ve made, people I’ve slighted. But I’ve learned that these challenges will face me again in the future, giving me the opportunity to learn, correct them, and move forward with a clearer conscience.

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@calofmichigan yes…thanks ,well said .

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nycmusic | @nycmusic | Mar 23 10:31am
In reply to @nycmusic "@calofmichigan yes…thanks ,well said ." + (show)
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@calofmichigan yes…thanks ,well said .

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@nycmusic get rid of old concerns about mistakes made—make room for what you face now .

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kjoed53 | @kjoed53 | Mar 26 9:01am

It's impossible to go through life without mistakes and failures. It's impossible to accurately ascertain exactly what your mistake was. 40 can be a difficult age to navigate as we look back at our adult life, what we've accomplished and whether we have found happiness or are just going through the motions. I think you are grieving for something lost and would benefit from speaking with a qualified therapist. They can help guide you to the peace of mind you seem to need in order to enjoy life again.

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