I have completed my 4th & 5th BCG treatment. Following the 4th, I had bleeding and some pain in my right side. Then, this past Thursday after my 5th - I had some bleeding and the incontinence was off the charts; since then, no notification beforehand and several times a day the huge bladder-protection pad was soaked to the max. I have had to make many underwear changes and am filled with anxiety not knowing just when my bladder will erupt (shall we say).

I feel emotionally reduced. Of course no cancer is a good cancer but having bladder cancer seems endless to me from all I have read from members. We know these tumors are relentless and while BCG may work for 60% of those having it instilled - failure for the 40% means either continuance with various other treatments or RC.

When I had endometrial cancer 20 years ago and subsequent radical hysterectomy, oopherectomy and radiation - it was simple by comparison - "one and done" as I put it recently to my urologist.

Bladder cancer is a tremendous challenge and while we focus on modalities of treatment and physical side effects, the emotional and psychological affects are enormous. I am 80 and perhaps those younger are better equipped somehow to handle this although I truly feel for them.

I wish there was an easier path toward success in defeating bladder cancer. I'm sure we all have our down days but we manage to pick ourselves up and forge ahead.

I apologize for this lament. Wishing members what is most important - continuance of hope and inner strength.

I am thankful I found this support group; the collective understanding, helpful and necessary information and support is invaluable.