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How do you deal with the waiting and loss of control?

Breast Cancer | Last Active: 6 days ago | Replies (21)

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@triciaot

For me, I felt a better sense of control when I wrote out an “if this, then that”. I went through all the bc support websites and looked at research, and made a list. I filled about 3 pages of a legal pad.

It looked like this:
- If lumpectomy is recommended, then it could be that I have breast conserving surgery, or simple lumpectomy, or a rearrangement of tissue to mask the missing tissue.
If I have a simple lumpectomy, then where will the sutures be and how will that look.
- If mastectomy is recommended, then do I want an aesthetic closure, plan for implant, or reconstruction. Get details on how this would work for me.
- If … then …

I actually went into more detail, with all the information I found. It made me feel that I knew that I had the information to make a decision, and it gave me back a sense of control. I told myself to set aside this list for a day, and get something else done. Then I’d go back and review what I wrote, made sure I could find the scenario that would be similar to the recommended treatment when I was with the doctor. It filled some days leading up to my appointment.

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Replies to "For me, I felt a better sense of control when I wrote out an “if this,..."

Stuck In the 70's | @jlwilcox | Mar 12 12:20am

@triciaot Kansas girl here, so I'm all about the ruby slippers. I had to wait 5 days over the promised time for my biopsy results. I did a lot of reading and used my mammogram results while doing the biopsy as a base. I learned a lot, and it wasn't scary at all. I had a friend tell me "get your mammoSquash" because she was diagnosed with a form of breast cancer. She had a lumpectomy followed by a bit of radiation. She is now cancer free. If you're concerned about sutures - don't be. They literally use glue now! (imagine what I felt when I got my hip replacement with my glue) and it's waterproof. You do keep a bandage over it, and it leaves a teeny tiny scar. I call them war wounds. You did just the right thing in calming down enough to read, be informed, write out what your questions are, UNDERSTAND what your doctor is talking about, and you're able to listen to your doctor comprehending what she/he is talking about. It is getting your power back!