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How do I add aging issues to a life I have never been happy in?
Aging Well | Last Active: Mar 18 9:31am | Replies (148)Comment receiving replies
@grasping ....
Keeping aside "inner beauty" in your post, you've also said earlier:
"I need to stop posting and reading how "normal" people handle Bad experiences and Aging because I am feeling more and more down when I hear how most people deal and I cannot."
So as a "normal" person (with enough aging experience of 82+ years) I'll share some of my 'challenges' to illustrate why looks do not matter as much as you seem to think.
But first, let's see what has been talked about this matter of attractiveness and happiness. Here's what i found:
Top 10% in attractiveness were only 10% happier than the BOTTOM 15% in looks. according to a Univ study in Texas
In other words if you are making with top looks $110k/year (moneywise-happy) I'll be making with least good looks 100K/yr...hardly something I'll lose my sleep on!
And I haven't even talked about a dozen other Pleasures that do NOT require money or status or fame, even health.
https://liberalarts.utexas.edu/economics/news/feature-archive/beautiful-people-are-happier-economists-find.html
As a "normal" person I had brush with extreme hopelessness in my 20s regarding employment but also had good fortune for ten years later. And then again in my fifties had to work on minimum wage jobs as unemployment was too high. It was only toward in my late fifties that I got to work in my field of expertise.
But I never got sick, physically or mentally, as I still could survive. And yes I moved where the job was, two suitcases was all my belonging, with a typewriter and phoneset for landline for years until close to retiring.
Today I am busy planning each day such that I won't regret I wasted on what is Most Important. And it's to spend it what matters to me most as a life I could not say looking back: 'O, I should have cared less about this and more about that. Each hour is with the satisfaction that this is the best I could spend it as: for rest, physical/mental upkeep, for Pleasure. If not now, there's no other chance. THIS drives me to be frugal with the asset we call Time. I spend a lot today on finding healthy connections. I also spend time to understand the world I/you live in for it too, like nature, determines how much it can shape my life.
I'd love to see you have the most out of our precious lives!
Replies to "@grasping .... Keeping aside "inner beauty" in your post, you've also said earlier: "I need to..."
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@sisyphus
I’ll dare to propose that habit is all we are.
And that habit is how we create or perhaps recreate ourselves
If a random thought pops up when I play a piece, it will usually return the next time I play that piece.
Usually it’s a thought about someone I’m angry with!
To stop this I need to replay the passage, carefully singing along and focusing on the music, just the music, only as many times as I can retain the focus.
Otherwise the piece becomes filled with my angry memory!
When I set out to play a piece, it’s wise to remember the first time I heard it or read it, loved it, wanted to play it, working to have fresh opened ears.
It can take many efforts to find the little movement or preparatory thought that will fix a habitual mistake, maybe just a wrong note or accent, a mistake that I’ve practiced unconsciously just once, or many times.
This is hard work, and a lot like my daily life!
Our past can be terribly powerful in ugly ways, it can rob our present moment of any life and joy.
Or perhaps, with great effort, we can reshape our moments just a tiny bit, and perhaps, done often enough, we can build some habits that make life a little bit better.
Few people who do not practice music can realize how much work it takes to play one simple piece beautifully, with sustained mindfulness.
However, with practice and endless refocusing, the hard work is also joyful, even when frustrating.
It takes a long time to develop the habit.
And I think the same is true of all living.
Keep trying, Everyone!