Welcome @leeb123 to the club no one really wanted to join!

I had a colectomy for IBD back in 1987, and you have had some good advice here already. Its great that you are seeing a WOCN in advance of your surgery, that helps a lot! As @patsyh has said, try different appliances until you find something that works for you (which could be the first thing you try). The different manufacturers are usually happy to send you samples, and your WOCN is a great resource if you are having difficulties.

People often have questions about how fast they "should" recover from surgery, and the answer is that it is different for everyone. Same with "what can I eat" - there is a lot of variation and hopefully your medical team will provide you with some starting points.

There is a Mayo Ostomy Support group that meets on the first Tuesday of the Month - details are here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/event/ostomy-monthly-support-group-meeting-1-ea51de65/

When is your surgery planned for?