I so understand your post. When i was young i prayed to God my boobs would grow!!! I had 2 sisters who did grow bigger boobs but i seemed to have inherited Dads genes. So, imagine my surprise when diagnosed, that based on my tumor size, and getting margins, I would need a mastectomy. My chemo only shrunk the tumor 1/2. At that time, I said "Really GOD". What the hell. Not married and now no boobs!!! I ended up having Brca2, so i had a double mastectomy. Meeting the plastics dr I thought i could finally have those huge boobs! Alas, I was to be 62. I did have implants, sans nipples, and i am the same size i have always been,
To you srobinet, I know someone suggested I take nude photos of myself. So, i bought an instant camera. She suggested those fancy photos one can take in a studio. She said there are those who will take these photos of women for this reason. Do what you need to remember.
I always felt if i did have the boobs i would feel as you do. God gave us them to nurse babies, plus men love them as much as we do. What beauty is in a women's body. For me, they were mine, but i knew i had to let them go.
Every day i look at myself, my barbie boobs and am reminded i had breast cancer. I never ever thought i would get breast cancer. I did not have big boobs!!!! Today i am reminded i will be at 5 years in July of 2026. When i was 1st diagnosed. I had thought when i had my surgery in Feb of 2022.
It is a loss. I tell women to feel yourself. Touch yourself. And cry, cry and cry. My friend that had a flat closure has not had regret at 6 years out. She is alive when she was not supposed to be.
You did not choose this but if it is the best choice for your diagnosis, please know you have Mayo Clinic here, where many women will post and share with you. Sending you a hug and a basket of hope.