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@callmegram I am glad to read that your husband is willing to talk and has become kinder. We are currently in a similar place.
BUT-Since I now have to learn the ins and outs of finances, and basically run both of our lives at this point, I find I am short of patience on days when he wants to know what I’m doing, and talks a lot…and I can’t keep a string of thoughts going in my own head, which at times, is very important! How do you manage quiet/thinking time? Best wishes. So grateful for this group!
And Kristi, welcome to this group! I was quiet when I first joined, but people here are so wonderfully supportive and helpful! Welcome!
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@2me
Quiet thinking time, hmmm, that would be now, in the middle of the night, when my insomnia kicks in.😫 Managing everything, while caring for, basically, a toddler, is challenging at best, overwhelming at worst. At 82 I’ve been on this journey with my husband, who is 86, for at least twelve
years (we have been married for 63 years). It has moved slowly, but we are now at the stage where I take care of, pretty much, everything! This includes our rental properties which are located in a different state, a 14 hour journey by car.😵💫 This was not in our plan, it happened suddenly after we travelled south to our vacation condo, six months ago. My husband had a severe reaction to the change in environment and I realized he could no longer travel…this is where we need to stay. Soooo, I am now a long distance property manger, until I can divest of them…and that’s a slow process. My current dilemma is arranging for family to stay with him, while I travel north, for three weeks. I need to take care of emptying and repairing our primary home, with the hopes of getting it on the market as soon as possible. I also have a major repair on a rental, due to the extreme winter. Quiet thinking time is what I need, to make a viable plan, to get quotes from contractors, schedule work, and make flight reservations…driving, especially alone, would no longer be safe. It’s a lot of coordinating, which sometimes makes me testy, when hubby interrupts, with “what’s for lunch?” or dinner or where’s my …. Today, I was on the verge of a meltdown. The condo security guard pasted two large warning stickers on my front windshield…because my owner’s decal expired five days ago….Really!!!Two stickers…and, I was parked in a handicap spot, with a proper placard, because of a lifelong walking disability! I couldn’t reach to get both of them off, and I was wasting part of my limited time for errands.😝 The kindness of one of the staff, in the pass office, touched my heart. It made me realize, once again, that I am not alone. Pam, insisted on putting the decal on my windshield…when she saw the remnants of the warning notices, she grabbed her windex bottle and scraper and went
to work.🤗 I’d love to say my day went better after that but, alas, it did not. However, I had this inexplicable feeling of a comforting presence…I call it my guardian angel…that stayed with me for hours.
I am also very grateful that I was forced into the decision to make this our primary home. We are now in a better place for both of us. The condo lifestyle is easier, the warmer weather gets us out and about more, and we have developed friendships, over the fourteen years as part time residents. I don’t know where this journey will take us, but I do know I’m not alone.
Many blessings to you on your journey.
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@2me
My husband and I are together 24/7, so thinking time is usually on the back burner, unless he's busy with something (these days it's word search puzzles).
I get up earlier than my husband, so that is my only alone time for thinking.
Hope you find a small window of time for you and your brain cells to have alone time. ☺️