I can well identify with the dilemma of too early/too late. We are “early” since my husband developed memory issues that were evident to just me in the past year, and then with the appropriate follow-up tests has been diagnosed with MCI due to Alzheimers. We are making adjustments in our life. We live on our dream 13 acres, retired after working hard in the city.

My husband loves being outdoors and has told me he would feel like a caged bird without nature around him. We are in our early 70s, and he is capable of almost everything; however, in spite of his protests, he is adjusting to not driving due to low score on the neurological test. My goal right now is to keep things as happy as possible, as well as understand his desires early on. My mind raced ahead to try to plan for the best possible scenario. We love our place, we love our community and friends, but daughters are hours away and busy with young families, as is specialized medical care in the big city.

Considering the diagnosis, I thought we should plan to be nearer to family. Husband was in favor of staying in place forever. We visited and liked two CCRCs, one near us and steps from the church where he sings in choir, one in a perfect location between two daughters and much nearer to the third. Because we were of two different minds, we sat down with a trained counselor at church who suggested that we get on the waiting list at both places (2+ years) and that we stay where we are as long as my husband thinks it is doable. We are going with that approach because it is at least a plan with options that we can control.

While exploring our property value and thinking about downsizing for a possible move, I was encouraged to speak to our local Caring Transitions person, who helps with downsizing and moving. I now know that the franchise offers a whole menu of options to make transitions less overwhelming. For us, knowing options and putting final decisions on the back burner for now has allowed us (especially me, the spouse) to live more in the moment and treasure the time we have in our home. We can always say we are not ready if the CCRC calls, and we will still stay on their list, so there is some comfort there, too. I should add that deposits at these places are mostly, if not completely refundable: one deposit was reasonable, and the other quite high.