Boys, sometimes this gets me down

I get it...Ive got it....you can read my post: "Getting ready to take my first dose"....I was in denial for a few months, reading all the crackpot cures on the internet, listening to my neighbor....even tried one of them but finally came to my senses and took the first step...ADT...what an awful thing to do to yourself...self castration! And the side effects......I cant even think about them....but I did realize that the big black spider growing inside me had to be slowed down, starved and made smaller....and taking those pills would give me time to make a plan for what comes next...radiation...oh man, Ive been reading all the stories, comments and experiences and none of them are good.
My Drs are not telling me jack, I can hardly understand them. You can bet Im going to know about margins, beams, protons, and anything else before I get that...but Ill have to learn it on my own...and if the ADT does its job maybe I wont do radiation, Im 72 and have had a good, full and active life...but I am on the downward slide...lol...So...when the depression and dark thoughts come for me in the night Ill ask for some pills to keep it back...whats a few more pills at this point? And when the pain get too bad, Ill ask for more pills. And at the end they will give me morphine....both my Mom and Dad had comfort care (thats what they call it) and passed away peacefully. So this is not to discourage you... there is always another door to open, a way to get thru another day, another sunrise to watch and another sunset to enjoy...I just came back from a night walk on my frozen pond....it was beautiful...now Im back, the woodstove is going, the dogs are sleeping....things are pretty good right now. I am grateful for today. When you think about it, that is all we have. Today. Im living like my dogs...one day at a time...it liberating, in a strange way......."Bark at the Moon"...good old Ozzie!

Yes, I have depression!

Venting is why we're here.
And not all of us are smart... we've just been through a lot & learn this stuff through osmosis.
We pick this stuff up just by being around so many doctors.
Or as my Latin teacher said: "Peter seems to imagine that he will wake up one day & know Latin with little or no effort on his part".

I haven't reached the Trimix injection stage yet, but others have here & for many, it's not that much of a big deal once you've done it a couple of times.
But I'm no fan of needles.

You're on the right side of the dirt & it does get better.
But the waiting sucks.

Sex is possible for many people after a prostatectomy or radiation therapy, just different. It might take a few years.

What you describe is not a pity party - it’s reality. And unless you are cursed with this disease, you just wouldn’t get it…but WE DO!
You are a relatively young man and sex is very important at that age; well, any age actually😉 but you know what I mean.
When I had surgery at age 64 I still had a very healthy sex life and loved nothing more than being able to please my wife (Oh, how we suffer🤣!)
But suddenly that was ripped away and there’s not much that can replace it - physically, that is.
I sometimes wonder if my wife suffers from this disease more than I do; short of the actual treatment she has been by my side every step of the way: my driver, my scheduler, my shoulder to lean on.
I too have not turned to the needle, but only because at age 71 I’m simply not as enthusiastic as I used to be. And neither is my wife since we’ve discussed this at length.
But if you - and your wife - have the desire for real physical intimacy and it is really something you miss, by all means go for it!
Guys here have had real success with Trimix and even with penile implants; yes, I also thought that this was something reserved only for aging Hollywood superstars, but many, many average Joe’s get them and are ecstatic at their rediscovered vigor.
Just remember- you ain’t dead yet! - so no need to act that way. And I know that ADT can crush the spirit but get help for that too, if you need it.
You’ve had so much crap thrown at you, that you deserve every single thing that might give you an advantage to overcome. Best,
Phil

"A bee stings me on the dick!" so what can I do? I can have sex, my dick is hard, but it's part of my strategy not to have sex. For some reason, I've come to the conclusion that this reduces the growth of the black spider!

Hang in there, Bro, sex isn't the same as life itself. The key is to prioritize and do what needs to be done in a timely manner!

I understand. I was diagnosed November, 2024 and started hormone therapy in December with no sex since. I am taking 5 mg Cialis to keep blood flowing and using a vacuum device after showers to stretch the tissue. I tried Trimix shots but the prostaglandin ingredient gave me erections with a lot of pain, so I gave that up. Like you, I have an amazingly loving and supportive and patient wife. If erections don't return by Christmas ( I am scheduled to end treatment in late June), I may consider an implant. Most seem to be very satisfied with the results and I read that it's covered by Medicare. You're not there yet, so researching your insurance might be a reasonable step. Blessings on your journey!

I'm meeting a doc in May in preparation for the implant. Had RP Nov '23 and then radiation Nov '24. Same as most here - nothing sex related since. I'm a gleason 9 but all Pet Scans have come back clean. The way I look at this fellas, is the C word is not going to stop us. There are a lot of things out there to keep it at bay or even eliminate cells. And it's only going to get better. Stay positive, we're going to be here for awhile longer. I have no doubts. WE GOT THIS! 👍

Thank you all for the feedback. Always nice to know you are not alone. I wish the best for all of you and god bless!

@ej4902
I’m with you. Had surgery when I was 59. Unfortunately there was nerve involved and into the bladder margins. I greatly enjoyed sex with my wife and when I was able tried my best but no sensation anymore. Like you I considered the injection too weird and unnatural. We decided to rest on our laurels and have our fond memories of the crazy times. I’m now 69 had 9 years cancer free but as it happens I became metastatic in 2024. On adt and in remission so my attempts at being a manly man have given way to staying alive for my family and doing the best I can to continue normality. Still cut my firewood, take my dog out to the forest and keep my house in order. It’s a strange disease. For me no outward symptoms except those caused by treatment. Mainly balance and strength issues. I’ve kept my diagnosis from my kids and friends as they wouldn’t understand that I’m not really changed except the fact that the other shoe could drop anytime and then I may be in real trouble. At that point I will spill the beans. Why worry them or have my friends view me differently. Be strong in your own way. Just keep keeping on. What else can we do