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My cancer is back...
2 years ago in January i was diagnosed with ovarian cancer that had spread all over...i went through chemo, multiple surgeries etc...by Oct i had NED...
well about a month ago i started having pain in my pelvic area, then in my upper abdomen.. , my CA125 was still at 18 the week before my pain started (which concerned me because it had been between 8 and 12 but what do i know LOL) so doctors weren't really concerned but i kept telling them something was wrong... the final thing which i think made them agree they needed a scan was when i told them i had started having that "balloon deflating" feeling every time i emptied my bladder in addition to the pain which is EXACTLY the feeling i was having that caused me to go to doc with a persistent UTI 2 years ago and led to the original diagnosis
finally they ordered a CT scan which i had done last Thurs... and it showed 2 spots in the pelvic cradle one measuring 1.0 cm, one smaller and 2 on my liver... so needless to say...i'm going back on the same chemo i took before since i responded so well to it next Thurs... i am NOT thrilled BUT had i not kept insisting that something was wrong they wouldn't have found it so quickly..
I had NOT been on a parp inhibitor because it doesn't "play nice" with my seizure meds so Mon i saw a neuro who is changing my seizure meds after 25 years to something that does ...lets just hope it controls my seizures as well as the one i've been on for that many years...
Not looking forward to the chemo regimen again but on the plus side i know what I have to look forward to, and you know what really sucks? my hair has JUST gotten long enough to put in a ponytail again...oh well at least i kept my favorite wigs lol...
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@mommacandy
I am thinking of you with hope as you start your treatment today, @mommacandy. I hope the procedure goes smoothly, that you've got who and what you need with you to get through it and to minimize side effects. As @jandrew1922 says, you are in my prayers for NED ASAP.
Gynosaur
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4 ReactionsI'm so sorry you're going through this. Ovarian Cancer can be such as isolating experience after the initial traumatic drama. As we get more time in survival, it seems like we have to shoulder our fears alone. I've had another cancer diagnosis--fortunately not a recurrence, which I would fear even more! I just wanted to say I too will pray for you. I'm so happy there are forums like this where there are people who REALLY understand the burden of this disease!
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6 Reactions@angela2932 that is soooo true...and i'm totally grateful for this forum because you all DO understand the highs and lows...and you'll be in my prayers as well
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1 Reaction@mommacandy I love your idea of putting the care cards on your front door. It's such a lovely reminder of all the people who love and pray for you.
It's good that you can talk so openly with your friend. I felt and still feel that many people do not want to hear how frightened we are. And I get that many people when we do say something do not necessarily know what to say in return. When one of our friends was going through treatment for liver cancer (he eventually had a transplant and is doing really well) I told him I'd pray for him. He said while he isn't religious he appreciated that a lot.
Pushing thoughts away doesn't work for me. I let the thoughts be there and try to let them float away. I've learned to slow my breathing and I like to put one hand on my heart and one hand on my abdomen in a way to kind of self-soothe. It's must seems like the older I get the more anxious I am. My brother feels the same and since we have all that shared DNA we find we can talk easily about this stuff with one another.
My favorite doctor now long since retired used to say to me - "You are the best judge of you" when I'd ask him questions about any symptoms I experienced - this was long before my cancer diagnosis. I'm so relieved for you that you didn't allow anyone to talk you out of "being the best of you".
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4 Reactions@mommacandy Been praying for you all along. You are brave. God Bless you.
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3 Reactions@mommacandy it’s really tough being “the strong one”! Be kind to yourself (I know people always say that, but it really is most important). I started the planning for the end phase, when my cancer (stage IV) came back (after less than 2 years), I think that’s a normal response. It doesn’t mean you’re giving up, but the reality is, the treatment is as hard as the cancer, both physically and emotionally. You’ve survived this once, with a lot of will power, & that’s exhausting! Especially while holding those around you up. You will get through it again. I had to allow myself to share (some) of my real fears and feelings, & was happily surprised by how many people reacted well. It was a relief to me. I have been NED since 5/2023. There is life after treatment, although a different, new life physically (for me). We are definitely living with more emphasis on experiences now. Wishing you so much good luck, a reasonably easy (I know that’s a tall one!) treatment, & the ability to allow yourself to not be “strong” for everyone else all the time. It allows others to care for you, which is a gift to all.❤️
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4 Reactions@amyb5 thank you for this!!! i'm trying...i really am...
Well folks i'm home from today's "adventure" ...
after going through the "joys" of the port being put back in i went to see the doc only to find i had gained 40 pounds since my last in person visit!!!...who knew chocolate cake could be so fattening (well and all the other things i'd been eating while i could still enjoy them LOL) After meeting with the np i was told they had decided to go with carboplatin and Doxil instead of taxol...THAT was interesting...apparently it has a bunch of different side effects and i had to keep ice packs in my groin area and under my armpits while it was infusing... now THAT was interesting...here i'm tucked under warm blankets and they are handing me ice packs for those areas..geez... and i'm supposed to give up my hot showers... this stuff apparently messes with your skin and makes it really sensitive to both heat and cold, as well as drying out a lot...so moisturize, moisturize, moisturize!!! on the plus side i'm NOT supposed to lose my hair...so time to get my roots done i guess lol...although i'm prob gonna wait to make sure.. also i do this one every 4 weeks providing my levels are high enough...reckon we'll see in March... but i'm tired so i'm off to bed...it was a long trip
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4 ReactionsI am reading your stories and feeling the fear and amazing strength that you all own. We all do our best to manage the difficulties of life, with cancer - at least for me - being the most challenging of all. Your stories inspire me to manage my fears and challenges my way. It helps to know that I am not alone and when you write what’s in my head I feel both validated and supported. Thank you for being there to prop me up.
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6 Reactions@mommacandy "Adventure"!! That's a good word for this. I've been in an infusion center frequently because that's where I received injections and then infusions for osteoporosis. The nurses are so compassionate. Did you see any of the nurses you had previously?
It sounds like the nurses have you well prepared. Thank you for checking back in with us. And as we all remind one another, be nice to yourself. Maybe your husband and children can take care of you?
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2 Reactions@mommacandy You go girl. So happy to hear about your new Meds as well. Get some rest still praying. It is working!!
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