I get it...Ive got it....you can read my post: "Getting ready to take my first dose"....I was in denial for a few months, reading all the crackpot cures on the internet, listening to my neighbor....even tried one of them but finally came to my senses and took the first step...ADT...what an awful thing to do to yourself...self castration! And the side effects......I cant even think about them....but I did realize that the big black spider growing inside me had to be slowed down, starved and made smaller....and taking those pills would give me time to make a plan for what comes next...radiation...oh man, Ive been reading all the stories, comments and experiences and none of them are good.
My Drs are not telling me jack, I can hardly understand them. You can bet Im going to know about margins, beams, protons, and anything else before I get that...but Ill have to learn it on my own...and if the ADT does its job maybe I wont do radiation, Im 72 and have had a good, full and active life...but I am on the downward slide...lol...So...when the depression and dark thoughts come for me in the night Ill ask for some pills to keep it back...whats a few more pills at this point? And when the pain get too bad, Ill ask for more pills. And at the end they will give me morphine....both my Mom and Dad had comfort care (thats what they call it) and passed away peacefully. So this is not to discourage you... there is always another door to open, a way to get thru another day, another sunrise to watch and another sunset to enjoy...I just came back from a night walk on my frozen pond....it was beautiful...now Im back, the woodstove is going, the dogs are sleeping....things are pretty good right now. I am grateful for today. When you think about it, that is all we have. Today. Im living like my dogs...one day at a time...it liberating, in a strange way......."Bark at the Moon"...good old Ozzie!