It sounds like you’ve done a lot of self-examination and the diagnosis resonates with you. In my experience, very few people think that much about autism if they’re not autistic.

Have you tried viewing in from the standpoint of monotropism? Check out the Sachs Center website. It’s a way of looking at autism that’s developed by autistic people. No questions about lining up toys or eye contact. It talks about our interior experience.

Finally, autistics like human connection with safe, known others. We can also be great public speakers and teachers. We learn how to play roles and, if we’re good at masking, can be excellent leaders. It’s also a little easier for us to be leaders since we can gently guide groups according to our needs.

Self-diagnosis is totally valid. Try hanging out with other autistics in neurodivergent groups. You can find them on Meetup. You’ll know if we are your people. 👍🏻

Good luck.