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@naturegirl5 yes i will be traveling again the 4 hour trip...and simply because oncology care here sucks to put it nicely...remember they offered me comfort care when i was first diagnosed...for those who aren't familiar with my story...i had stage 3c ovarian and it was throughout my pelvis and abdomen.. i responded well to the chemo and multiple surgeries...i think by time i had the reconstruction surgery on my nose for the skin cancer that was removed there in Dec of 2024 i was up to 7 surgeries that year...it was rough esp losing my best friend through all that...i honestly think thats prob why i wasn't as scared ...because i was focusing on his cancer journey and mine was just "going along for the ride" so to speak...
maybe because its a reoccurance idk but this has definitely been more scary for me...but its like i told my care team there...i don't care if my numbers are still "normal range" something is wrong...i knew...and wanted something done asap...
its just strange feeling these weird feelings about it this time...i can't talk to anyone here about them...cause "i'm the strong one" and they would totally break down and i can't have that...
Replies to "@naturegirl5 yes i will be traveling again the 4 hour trip...and simply because oncology care here..."
@mommacandy it’s really tough being “the strong one”! Be kind to yourself (I know people always say that, but it really is most important). I started the planning for the end phase, when my cancer (stage IV) came back (after less than 2 years), I think that’s a normal response. It doesn’t mean you’re giving up, but the reality is, the treatment is as hard as the cancer, both physically and emotionally. You’ve survived this once, with a lot of will power, & that’s exhausting! Especially while holding those around you up. You will get through it again. I had to allow myself to share (some) of my real fears and feelings, & was happily surprised by how many people reacted well. It was a relief to me. I have been NED since 5/2023. There is life after treatment, although a different, new life physically (for me). We are definitely living with more emphasis on experiences now. Wishing you so much good luck, a reasonably easy (I know that’s a tall one!) treatment, & the ability to allow yourself to not be “strong” for everyone else all the time. It allows others to care for you, which is a gift to all.❤️
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@mommacandy Ah, yes. I recall that you drove out of state for your oncology care for the same reasons that I do the same. I didn't realize at the time and perhaps you did not either that when your cancer diagnosis came at the same time as your best friend that you were putting your energy toward him. Of course you wanted to do that at the time. And yet there could have been all sorts of unprocessed grief you had about your own diagnosis.
I definitely know what you mean about being perceived as "the strong one". This is why I told very few people about my cancer and I still feel that way. I know that one gets support by telling others but I also think at least for me that I want to choose carefully who that will be. I told no one at my former employer (I was diagnosed the year I retired) because I knew I would get those platitudes about how strong I am and "you've got this", etc.
You are a good model for us - listen to your body and insist that you know when something does not feel right. Advocate for yourself.
Do you have a schedule for starting your treatment? Who will drive the four hours there and back with you?