@jime51
A couple of people came into ancan.org and said that they were on oxybutynin For hot flashes and it worked really well. They didn’t mention any side effects.

Below are a number of drugs you can take for hot flashes, You could speak to your doctor about it. Venlafaxine is there of course. Not sure why the doctor didn’t consider just doing it.

Since Myrbetriq Didn’t work you might ask your doctor about Gemtesa. It may help with the incontinence problem. It’s the other recommended drug I know of for it.