Depending on the availability of "retirement homes" in your community, waiting until you "NEED" more care may not be an option. Both my husband and myself are now 79 and feel fortunate to be living in a CCRC (Continuing Care Retirement Community) since last May. Let me explain our decisionmaking process and journey to get here.

I began noticing my husband's memory lapses five years ago, and after being referred by his PCP to a neuropsychologist in 2023, it was determined that he hd mild to moderate cognitive impairment. He was subsequently referred to a neurologist and after many tests was diagnosed with dementia in 2024. By that time we had decided that it was time to move from our single-family home in a lovely 55-plus community , but we weren't sure whether to move closer to one of our two married children--both of whose families live cross-country--or to stay in the area where we had retired 20 years ago. We decided to take a first step by selling our house and first moving into an independent living apartment in a rental care community that also offered assisted living. After not quite a year living there, we decided that my husband would most likely need skilled care or memory care in the future, neither of which the rental facility offered.

We were extremely lucky that the CCRC we liked had an independent living apartment we preferred at the time. So far, my husband is OK living in that apartment as long as I am with him, but all the other levels of care are available to him as his dementia worsens. The reason I said we were extremely lucky is that eight months later, this CCRC is 100 percent occupied, with a waiting list of almost 100 people! However, because my husband already had "dementia" on his medical record (those records are scrutinized very carefully by CCRC's), he wasn't approved as a Life Care resident like I was but only as a "90-day" resident. That means that if he goes into Memory Care, he will receive only 90 days of care before having to pay the market rate.

So my advice to anyone considering a move to a "retirement community" in the future, is to research what's available in your area and get on a waitlist (or even two) so that option is more likely to be available when you decide you need it. Aside from a fairly minimal refundable deposit, there really is no downside to getting on a waitlist. If your number comes up, you can always say you're not ready and you'll retain your position on the waitlist. The second thing I'd recommend is to decide to move in before your loved one is officially diagnosed with dementia so that they can get the full benefit of a Life Care community. (It's my understanding that in some CCRC's, a person with a dementia diagnosis can't be approved for entry at all, so we were again lucky that my husband was accepted at all.)

I apologize for this being so long, but I hope our story may be helpful to those who are just beginning their decisionmaking journey.