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How do I add aging issues to a life I have never been happy in?
Aging Well | Last Active: Mar 18 9:31am | Replies (148)Comment receiving replies
@maryje
There is nothing I hate more than being told to knock it off, get over it, stop feeling sorey for yourself! Do you not think I tell myself that everyday? Do you think I am stupid on top of everything else? I have beat myself up compounding my horrible self image. I would say to you that not everyone can do that and it is not from lack of trying. I know one person who committed suicide and I do not think for one minute that friend of mine did it because they firgot to tell themself to stop feeling sorry for themself. As to getting out of my head, Ibused to volunteer all the time, go to homeless shelters, soup kitchens in Detroit but I am no longer able tobdo that because of GI issues. So I come here to find some relief. No people are not perfect and neither am I so forgive me for my deppression and the inability to just "stop feeling sorry for myself". I will stop posting so as not offend others. I guess forums like this are for people to just post positive, make believe fake stuff, kind of like facebook. Like I said, I will stop posting. I thought I could express how I feel here.
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@grasping
Social worker/psychotherapist here, 30 years in practice, now retired, almost. Major depressive disorder is horribly painful. The definition includes feeling terribly sad, hopeless and helpless to do anything about it, and little or no ability to enjoy life. Well-meaning people suggesting you simply put on a happy face only adds to the burden... as if you were too stupid to have tried the obvious perky things already. It's pretty clear you hate feeling the way you do, and you've tried everything you can think of. From my experience the thing that can help is the good luck to find the right therapist, which I hope you have, someone caring, patient, empathic and smart, and just hanging in there. Mark Twain said "It's easy to quit smoking; I've done it a hundred times." Research shows that every time you try again you improve your chances of achieving your goal and one reason is you've figured out what doesn't work for you. My strong belief is you CAN teach old dogs new tricks, and this is from experience. (Read: "The Brain That Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge for good research evidence). On another note; regarding aging, Philip Larkin (one of) my favorite poets, takes a very dark (I think realistic) perspective. In his poem "Aubade" he points out how hard it is to try to blot out the bitter realities of life, they ARE bitter, and it becomes more difficult as we age, losses pile up, and the ultimate destination doesn't look great. Religious beliefs help many, lucky for them, but not everyone. In the meantime all we have is each other, and as the wise folks at AA say: Keep coming back... (it's the relationships that heal, and from which we keep picking up pointers.)