@mir123 A lot of the strategies I acquired to cope with loss in my high-energy 40s just don't work now that I'm 70 and have chronic cancer, a wonky heart valve, and a bad back.

I have learned to move on days when fatigue and dyspnea aren't bothering me and to knit and read when they are. So I always feel like I am accomplishing something.

I also have a keen eye for the ridiculous. For ex, my husband and I have taken to watching weiner dog races on YouTube after watching the godawful news.

Americans generally, however, want you to stay strong, be a warrior, fight the inevitable, and stay positive. They want to hear about your successes, not how some days are a big slog. (For those who find that hard to take or for whom the "warrior" metaphors don't work, I recommend Barbara Ehrenreich's "Bright-Sided.")

So many friends have died before their time, and I have no one I really want to confide in on bad days. So I find these anonymous support groups very helpful!