How do I add aging issues to a life I have never been happy in?

Posted by grasping @grasping, Jan 31 5:24pm

I can relate to all I have read in this aging forum except, as I always find, I mostly feel physically ugly and have felt this way my whole life. Age just makes everything worse for me. I know aging is hard but when I add it to the fact that I have hated myself my whole life, it is unbearable. Been to many doctors and therapist thru the years to no avail. I cannot tolerate any serotonin drugs that may help me. The last straw for me was when, 6 months ago, I had my upper teeth removed because of failing crowns and bridge work. I had implants place and am now getting near the date to get my permanent implant crowns place. The problem is my face has aged at least 10 years because of having no teeth. I wish I never would have done this, I have no faith that my dentist will be able to make my facial structure look any better with the implants. Once again I did something to make me feel better about myself and it will not work out that way in the end. I have not enjoyed my life and aging is a cruel way of going out in my opinion. I do not have the inner self esteem I need to make this horrible life journey.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

grasping | @grasping | Feb 6 1:45pm

In reply to @kayraymat "@margaretfriel Amen to that. If one can afford it, it does add to health & happiness...." + (show)

@kayraymat Is this a post to pro.ote cosmetic surgery? I have personal experience that it does not work well, usually bad results no matter the degrees a surgeon has. All the celebreties that have tons of money look horrible.

kayraymat | @kayraymat | Feb 6 4:25pm

No, No, Not at all. I am not promoting anything.
I have just seen some good results on friends.

But there is that T V show "Botched" that shows even people with money
get bad results.

kayraymat | @kayraymat | Feb 6 4:26pm

In reply to @grasping "@kayraymat Is this a post to pro.ote cosmetic surgery? I have personal experience that it does..." + (show)

@grasping
I forgot to hit reply, but my comment is below.

grasping | @grasping | Feb 6 8:12pm

In reply to @isadora2021 "@grasping It hurt my heart to read your post and how hard you’ve worked at doing..." + (show)

@isadora2021
Thank you for responding. I appreciate your kind words. I too had cancer about 10 years ago. I also lost 2 children to crib death. I could go on about all the things in my life that I had no control over. The problem is not really looks, I logically understand that but I have no sense of self, did not have a childhood that taught me to like myself. This cannot be replaced. Looks were something I thought I could control in an otherwise uncontrolable existence. I was wrong.

grasping | @grasping | Feb 6 8:18pm

In reply to @dmbwa99362 "@grasping i have my higher spiritual power. Some people call their higher power God. My belief..." + (show)

@dmbwa99362
Thank you. I had 4 children my 1st and 3rd died of crib death. My daughter had 1 son, my only grandchild. She is nit having anymore. My son is gay and does not have children. I love children very much but will not be lucky enough to have many in my life. My one grandson lives 3 hours away.

margaretfriel | @margaretfriel | Feb 7 2:48am

In reply to @kayraymat "@margaretfriel Amen to that. If one can afford it, it does add to health & happiness...." + (show)

@kayraymat
Finding a Good cosmetic surgeon took some time. I started by asking my GP. He had several suggestions, it took some time to find patients who'd used them, some happy, some 'not-so much'! Then I asked some people I was acquainted with who worked in the local Hospital ER. They see Patients who've been in accidents & needed reconstructive surgery, they suggested several Dr.'s. As well I was acquainted (socially) with several Nurses who had hospital experience, they suggested several names. 2 Dr.'s names kept coming up with most of the people I'd asked, so I made appointments with each of them & chose the one I felt most comfortable with. He turned out to be "Just What The Patient Ordered!" We were Both happy with the results.

kayraymat | @kayraymat | Feb 7 7:42am

In reply to @margaretfriel "@kayraymat Finding a Good cosmetic surgeon took some time. I started by asking my GP. He..." + (show)

@margaretfriel
Glad to hear about your experience.
It does take a lot of homework & footwork... 🙂

delite | @delite | Feb 8 1:03am

@grasping you are deeply loved. Can you read these scriptures ? 2corinthians 4: 16- 18, James 1:2-4
I believe it will help you feel better.

gunshy | @gunshy | Feb 8 8:20am

I am praying for you. God loves you just as your are. You are precious in His sight. Childhood can have adverse effects and lead us to believe an untruth about ourselves. I, too, have done things that, too, I thought would make things better, and they have made them worse. Now I rely as much as I can on God's wisdom through prayer.
I hope this doesn't offend you. I am just sharing what worked for me. God bless you!

edsutton | @edsutton | Feb 8 9:11am

grasping-
Do let us know how your implant crowns turn out, it's a decision many of us will have to make.
Meanwhile, one of the lessons of age is how little in our lives has really been under our control.
It's not your fault, it's just how it is.
Maybe we can blame ourselves a little less.
Ed