How do I add aging issues to a life I have never been happy in?

I am reading these posts with a great deal of sadness and empathy. I felt desperate for answers at a time in my life (about 18 years ago) when it seemed like my problems were overwhelming. I had loved ones who suffered from addictions, and my life seemed to revolve around "helping" them out of their problems and crisis. As a result, I felt I lived in a state of continuous turmoil and my self-esteem suffered. Fortunately, I found a 12 step program (Al-Anon) that has helped me immensely. I've found a fellowship of people who love me in a special way, just like I love them (although we may not all like each other). We share our experience, strength, and hope and encourage each other when we're down. When I'm feeling particularly bad about myself, I use the tools of the program (e.g. acceptance, a gratitude practice, my daily readings, my higher power, and regular meetings) to guide me toward a more positive outlook. Today I live in genuine peace, have a better relationship with my loved ones, and I mostly look forward to each day. As I'm aging, I too am not always pleased with the physical changes, but I'm so grateful to have an opportunity for continued spiritual, intellectual, and emotional growth that it seems like a fine trade-off.

I know that Al-Anon isn't for everyone, but I hope you find something like it to help you. I believe we all deserve to live a serene and joyful life, no matter our age or circumstances. The trick is finding it for ourselves, and we may find help through the support of others facing the same challenges.

To all of you who suffer from a poor self image: Go look in a mirror. Smile at that person and note that they smile back! Is that person in the mirror really you? Or is it someone else? Stop feeling bad about yourself and start feeling good. When you come to like yourself, you will find that you like others as well and they will like you back. Although Star Wars had the dark side nailed down: Fear leads to anger which leads to hate which leads to power; they messed up the light side: Friendship leads to liking which leads to Love which leads to Peace and Harmony! Also, Master and student on the two sides lead to different conclusions: Dark side--Student has to become more powerful than the Master and kill the master, Light side--Student learns from all masters and becomes close friends with them to become one with them. The choice is yours. Become spiteful and full of hate toward others or you can be full of love and find peace. The choice is yours to make for yourself. Every one of us has to make that choice and with power and some help you can change back to the Light Side of the Force.

@juliem688 Thank you for your response. I did try Al Anon when I was younger. I am not able to find any meetings now. It seems that there are not many around anymore in my area. I am happy to hear you found some peace.

@dmbwa99362
I do not know how this "reply" works, if I did, and it was private, I would tell you how closely I relate. I do want to thank you for replying and say that I just do not understand the replies I get about having faith in God. How can I believe in a thing that gives so much to some and so little to others? The standard answer is just have faith. I do not believe blindly. But I am trying to work on myself. I hope you find some peace.

I've received many tender responses to my little story about seeing my wrinkles in the mirror.
I'm very touched by them. Thank you!

I hope it's not a mistake to share something about myself.

By my early twenties I was aware that I had regular mood swings, up - down every 2 or 3 months. Sometimes light, sometimes self-destructive.
I self-medicated with non-stop coffee and Camel cigarettes. It was a way to keep moving, but it didn't support a dependable work life. I survived, but sometimes it was a miracle.
One other miracle: my urge to smoke went away in libraries and bookstores. I spent a lot of time looking for...the book...the book...the book that would teach me what I needed.
At the age of 40 I found _The Hidden Addiction and How to Get Free_ by Jan Keller Phelps.
I stopped smoking! I learned to eat healthy foods. It was a lot to learn.

I began learning a profession that would allow me to work with my mood swings.
It was not easy, I made many mistakes, but I learned to deal with myself and maintain a professional reputation.
I helped others to learn.

37 years later, I'm not much different. My moods still swing and I can be very oversensitive, but I've learned to recognize myself. I don't react to myself, I just observe myself, knowing these are my feelings, and they will change. I don't bang against the walls. I'm even starting to understand why I am the way I am.

So, I'd suggest to others: You are who you are, and you probably won't change. Try to look kindly on yourself. And on others. If it hurts it's because it's not easy. Try to accept your journey. Try to enjoy the scenery. And my hope for you is that sometimes your walk will be a little lighter.
Sometimes the music may touch your heart.