@jrelliott , these things sound familiar. If you were to stay in her house with her, you would probably discover even more disturbing facts. I found spoiled food in my cousin’s fridge that she was convinced was still edible, piled up mail with insurance expired, stockpiled items cause she kept buying stuff repeatedly, obsessions, not taking meds though claiming she was, etc. Neighbors shared stories of incidents and their concerns.

I immediately got her a doctor’s appointment and started trying to get her assessed and placed in assisted living. Which I did. Unfortunately, it became apparent that she really needed memory care, which is a specialized unit. Assisted living staff will provide reminders and assistance, but when dementia requires more than that assisted living refers to memory care. I wasn’t aware how that worked. So, in the assessment, it’s important for them to have more info than just the person being assessed.

While I was trying to assist my cousin while she was in her home, I got a call from Emergency responders who were at her home. I was enroute to her place at the time. They had responded to neighbors who called when she was yelling for help from her front porch and waiving her arms in distress. Upon arrival she seemed fine, but there was definitely something wrong. I explained I was working on getting her help. I knew that if I didn’t adult protective services would step in. So, if she continues to live alone and progress with her symptoms, I’d be prepared for an emergency call or a call from adult protective services, because someone else who sees the situation may report it. AND doctors will sometimes report it to adult protective services. I’d speak with an attorney about it to help sort out your responsibilities, if any. It’s unnerving to await the crisis that will eventually occur when someone who isn’t competent is unattended.

Good luck with everything. I will say that my cousin did much better when she got the proper level of care. It was a relief to me as well. ……almost forgot.

My cousin’s doctor told us that she needed assisted living and that living alone was not an option. I knew what she meant.