Hi Anne. I am a wife in a very similar situation. The details are in my bio. One thing I can say to you that might help is that it is all very shocking and frightening and confusing at first but those feelings can change as time goes on. I have found that learning as much as I can is super helpful because I can talk with the doctors comfortably, support my husband, and get better at accepting the reality of the situation. This forum is great for both learning and support. There are other partners and wives (and gentlemen) here who have been very generous sharing their knowledge with me. They will do the same for you.