← Return to Blaming and anger: How do you deal with it?

Discussion
murkywaters avatar

Blaming and anger: How do you deal with it?

Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Jan 31 8:00pm | Replies (87)

Comment receiving replies
Profile picture for msblood @msblood

I am brand new to this site and about a year into unfortunate journey with my wife. She is proceeding from mild to moderate AZ and it is so awful and unfair that it brings me to tears. We have always been active and traveled and socially busy, but now that is grinding to a halt, as one can imagine. We still have bands of friends calling to have us go there or meet here but we have turned into the couple at home here in FL, and now they are lining up to come visit us. Great except for the fact I am the sole caregiver and now need to do EVERYTHING- plan, shop, cook, drive, north desk,i, etc etc. It is exhausting and a little overwhelming. I use analogies all the time so here’s one: we are all on the highway of life as adults. Speeding along, enjoying the ride, cruising alongside friends & family. Until we get afflicted like this (along with my health issues as well at same time) and are forced to take the next exit. Nobody follows us, they wave and blow kisses and continue cruising and living life while we exit the flow and settle in to our new, challenged roles. Sad and upsetting and a little embarrassing to be honest.

But that’s my position and opening volley. I wish you all the very best and pray hard and long for peace & acceptance, for there is no cure snd this will continue to be our lives till our last breaths.

Jump to this post


Replies to "I am brand new to this site and about a year into unfortunate journey with my..."

@msblood , that’s a really good analogy. You sure have a great attitude. I hope you do have help lined up. Doing it solo is extremely challenging. Even with help, I was quite overwhelmed. Caring for 2 parents, one with Alz was like living in a crisis center. Constant duties and high stress.

Has your wife considered the new injection treatment for Alz? I ask now, because it’s supposed to be a better new option for treatment.

Hi, @msblood I'm Scott, and welcome you to Mayo Connect. I found Connect in the early years of my wife's 14+ year journey. You are SO correct -- caregiving is exhausting.

I know we, and our journeys, are different, but your post triggered a couple of memories for me. One was how I began to manage visits. I explained to folks that their visits could not last longer than two hours. Even that was long for my wife's attention span and anxiety. I also said no meals. I also explained there were certain times of day that worked for a visit and others that simply did not. I also had to put the kibosh on any overnight stays as they were just too difficult for my wife -- and, like it or not, too much added work for me as her caregiver.

As I said, I know we, and our loved ones, are unique, but these steps did help ease my wife's and my burden.

Strength, Courage, & Peace